Breaking The Walls

Chapter 11

"I am done looking for love where it doesn't exist. I am done coughing dust in attempts to drink from dry wells."

- Maggie Young

Indigo/Nyx

14 years old

When you cease to exist, you become your own shadow. A silent, small body that wanders the corridors of its own house in search of answers. Loneliness creeps under your skin and then makes its way into your bloodstream, becoming a part of your body. Christian is no longer the brother I remember. He still protects me from my father, Christian is still my only and fiercest defender. But we don't talk anymore like we used to. The guilt for what happened on my birthday does not allow him to be near me, as we both need it. Or maybe it's something else? I do not know, but what I do know for sure is that he is as lonely as I am. But Christian is seen. He is a full-fledged person who is heard and talked to. He is asked for his opinion. And I'm not...

I became invisible even to myself. The muffled footsteps of my bare feet do not allow anyone to hear my approach. And the quiet, barely audible breathing that is lost against the background of the noise of other voices. My small body became completely invisible in the large mansion in which we lived. It seems to me that Christian didn't even notice my presence. At first, it offended me a lot. I locked myself in my room and cried for hours, but then I realized that I have the freedom that no one else has. A huge advantage of being a shadow is this freedom of movement. When no one cares about you, your movements are not monitored, and you have access to many new things. As soon as I realized that I had opportunities that my brother didn't have, I started using it. I got into my father's office when he was not there and found interesting things, I also found my mother's bracelet, which I hid from Christian and my father. Then, I started eavesdropping on conversations and recording them on my phone so that I could eventually use them against him. But all I recorded were boring conversations about work.

Until a certain day. The day I realized that information has huge power over people. When I realized that the means of manipulation is the use of information against another person. Information gives you power, which is not so easy to earn as a child. But what I found out, I never revealed. This is what I keep to myself and protect with all my being because, apart from this, I have nothing with which I could protect myself.

On the third of September, my father confessed his sins. About those that no one knew. And when I say nobody. That's what I mean. No one but me and his lawyer.

"Christian must never find out. No one needs to know. He is my only legitimate heir." At first, I didn't understand what it was about. Am I not considered an heiress too? The father gave clear and strict tasks to his lawyer.

"It turns out that after your death everything goes to Christian?" Father just nodded. "But people will ask questions about why you didn't leave anything to Amisha."

"She's not my child, I don't have to leave her anything. She'll be just as much a whore as her mother. Especially since I've already sold it for good money." The information didn't want to be absorbed in my head. It turns out my father is not my father. Did Mom cheat on him? No way, Mom would never do that. "This whore left her an apartment after her death, so there should be no questions."

"Your wife died pregnant, right? For what reason? Were there any problems with the child?" Father laughed creepily.

"She didn't die, I killed her. She was pregnant again and came to me, she swore that the kid was mine. But I'm not an idiot. I knew she was cheating on me." The lawyer swallowed nervously. Looking away. It was terrible to hear my father admit that he was the murderer of my mother. My heart sank with pain. I don't even know who my father is. Maybe he's a good person? Maybe he's not the monster as...? Now I don't know what to call the person who is supposed to be my biological father. How would Christian react? I wanted to run to him and tell him everything I had just learned.

"Okay, I get you. You said that you sold Amisha to someone..." Christian's father immediately interrupted him.

"It's none of your business who I sold her to. When she turns eighteen, she'll marry whoever I tell her to. I will have a good deal in my pocket, and her husband has a hole where he will wet his dick." The lawyer pursed his lips but nodded.

"If that's all..."

"No." My father interrupted the lawyer again, taking out a small black flash drive. "I want you to hide this flash drive in one of my estates. Don't tell me where. Just hide it." I was curious about what was there and why my father would hide something like that. And what estates is he talking about? I didn't know that. The only property I knew about was the mansion we lived in, a lake house in the woods, and now my mother's apartment that will be inherited by me. As soon as I saw that the lawyer started to get up and leave, I ran to my room.

My father was going to marry me off. He was hiding something, and it was all on his lawyer's flash drive. Christian is my half-brother. I don't even know who my real father is. I had a thousand questions that I wanted to be answered. But firstly, I wanted to tell my brother everything. So the first thing I went to look for him.

I found Christian in the library. He was working on something on his computer.

"Christian?" My brother raised his head and looked in my direction, his eyebrows furrowed.

"What happened Amisha? I'm busy right now."

"It's urgent."

"Speak up, short and fast." I tried to calm the heart that was beating with all its might in my chest, and quickly gathered all my thoughts that I wanted to say to Christian.

"I overheard a conversation between our father and his lawyer. Christian sighed heavily, running his hand over his face and hair.

"Amisha, why did you do that? Do you want problems?" My brother was angry at me for what I did. I understood the consequences of my actions, but it didn't scare me. Not after what I found out.

"I know, I'm sorry. But it's very important. Father is going to leave everything to you and" Christian's eyebrows shot up.

"Let him do what he wants, Amisha. Don't worry about the money. I won't leave you. This is not such a piece of important information to distract me."

"But..."

"Go to your room. I don't have time for this," Christian raised his hand, waved me away, and started typing something on his computer again.

I know I shouldn't have been upset. He didn't mean to offend me. He was busy, I understand. So I went back to my room, it still hurt. So when I got back to my room, I wanted to scream, bang against the walls. I wanted to swear and break everything around me so that they would finally hear me. So that Christian would hear me. But I didn't say a word, didn't make a single sound, just one tear rolling down my cheek and a heavy lump in my throat that wouldn't let me breathe. I tried to breathe in air, but the more I tried, the more I was suffocating. From lack of air, my hands began to tremble, and the fear that I was dying only worsened my panic attack. I stopped feeling my legs, they went numb and I fell. And then the darkness took me in, showing all my fears and hard memories. I looked at them like in a movie, picture after picture replaced each other, without the ability to stop this torture without the ability to move...