𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐 - Lacuna

lacuna - a blank space or a missing part

Isla's POV

"Good morning students, I hope you all had a wonderful weekend; as you know this is our second week of school and as we begin to settle in, I will be starting our first reading of the year." Mrs.Lepal says, as she introduces us with her attempt of a "smile."

"Everyone please open up your laptops, and open the first pdf that you see at the top. There will be a digital attachment of the book, along with all of the worksheets, and two of the rubrics for the essays that go along with this book."

I open up my computer with a sigh, knowing Mrs.Lepal, I had her a year before this, that the assignments coming with this reading would be long, unnecessary, and harshly graded; what are AP classes for if they don't make you rip out your lace, yes lace, from harsh pulls. My classroom page loads with a bright introduction of green and white colors, ones I haven't seen in forever; I see our reading The Hate U Give.

I click my teeth in annoyance, maybe a little too loud for the students like me, who laughed and clicked their teeth too or a little too ghetto for the white girl who thought I didn't see her look over at me with misunderstanding.

"Isla, did you say something?" Mrs. Lepal says as she looks directly at me, maybe the click of my teeth was a little louder than I had heard or maybe they just heard too loud.

"No." I say, looking up at her quickly and returning to the screen of my laptop. She shakes her head before continuing on.

"Now, I know you all are looking at the work and already complaining about how it's too much, but I believe this book and the work that comes with it will go by quickly; I picked this book specifically to accommodate to all students in my classroom, I believe a lot of you will like this book!" She adds with excitement, thinking she did something but she really did nothing.

Private institutions, especially ones like these have just started accepting black students into their spaces; ones they think are good enough to attend here and can give them a bit of cash grab, me for instance, and another that can be added to the diversity percents listed on their various websites or ones they feel are "gifted" and deserve a "chance" by paying for them to attend. They're left with reflections; reflections on how black students are treated while attending which doesn't look too good for their diversity campaigns so they force black literature into certain curriculars and play black trauma porn once a month and call it "black studies".

Women, white women, like Mrs. Lepal don't give a fuck about The Hate U Give or "accommodating" to her students; she just wants get paid without hearing complaints from administrators or students themselves, a problem her and I have run into...I see through her shit and white people, white women don't like that.

"Why do you think we would like this book?"A student asks.

"Well I'm sure whether you all are familiar with book or film or not you will be able to relate to this book in some areas; it's important that we open up conversations like this to all demographics." She replies, articulating her words so she doesn't say too much but says just enough.

"I'm sure Isla will like this book, if she hasn't read it already."

"I have, the book is better than the film."

"Well, that is left up to the reader or viewer, but I'm sure you'll provide both literary and personal insight." She says.

See! That's that hidden racism bull I'm talking about, personal? Why would a book like The Hate U Give have any personal relationship to me in any sense? Are we both young black women? Yes, but that's about it. I've never had to deal with poverty or live within low income neighborhoods, not that that makes me any better but I haven't by grace and good circumstance or how I haven't lost anyone to gun violence, police wise, except the man who took my mom but that's different...real different or how for damn sure I've never dated a white boy at my school.