I Love You More Than Anything

Chapter 6

TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER!! CONTINUE WITH CAUTION CAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYS

I wake up in Michael's Room, rolling around in the sleeping bag. I feel Michael poking one of my cheeks. I try to get up but the thoughts keep coming like water droplets on a car window. Michael starts shaking my shoulder.

    "Tori.. It's 7, you gotta get up and leave because your mum is already here."

    I sit up and rub my eyes, I glance at his freckle-covered face then get up; Obviously, I am still grouchy and tired but its whatever. I'm like this everyday. I mumble good morning, pet his hair and head on out. Stepping downstairs and almost out the door until Michael touches my shoulder. I jump out of my skin and turn around.

    "Text me if you need me." He says.

    I go out the door and follow my mum to the car. But I just keep thinking of what he said. Why did he tell me that? Honestly, for as long as i've known him, I thought of him as some empath. I feel ridiculous for saying that. It's funny because it's true. When we arrive home, my mother lets me out the car without saying anything. I feel sorry for doing anything or even talking too her. I head to my room and flop on my bed. God, why am I so sensitive? Im even sensitive for thinking about this! I WISH I COULD JUST SHUT UP.

    "Shut up!" I scream at myself. I think I was too loud but I don't care about that. All I want is too sleep and never awake like I died.

    Something in my head gets up and sneak downstairs. I hear my mum in the living room, talking too someone, why should I mind? Ever since I got diagnosed with depression the night Solitaire fell, The psychologist that talked to me prescribed me these anti-depressant meds, Prozac. It was usually to help to increase my chemically unbalanced brain. I take the bottle from the cabinet slowly and secretly. I tiptoe to my room and close the door behind me silently.

    You may notice what I'm doing with these meds. I pour a few pills into my hand and shake them. I put the pill bottle down on my floor and sit down by them. I stare at the pills. Should I really do this? I think about all of the stuff thats happened in my life, looking back, It looks... like something I didn't sign up for. I didn't want to play this game just to have a bad life. This life is for someone else now. I engulf the pills and after a few minutes, I feel nausea, I feel like Im gonna throw up. I try to keep it back but it doesn't work. I throw up on my floor and feel the symptoms kick in. My breathing isn't stable and I feel my heart slow. I wish I didn't actually do this. Fuck. Fuck me. Fuck everyone. I look around my room as it might possibly be my last look at the things that live on earth. The  bed.  The Shelf. thebookcaseandtheclothesthatareonmyfloorwillbegonebecauseiwasstupid-

    I then hear my mother enter my room, reminding me to keep doors open but caught in the middle of her sentence, she runs over to me, calling my brother, Charlie. She dials a number — probably 999. For what has felt like a year, my vision blurs and I pass out.

Part 2

    I wake up in a hospital bed with an IV stuck into my inner elbow. Oh no... oh nononono.... I did NOT want to live.. Or did I..? I hear a faint beeping noise from the monitor thats placed on my right. My vision still blurry like I'm a lost bat. My vision regains seconds more, I find Michael and Charlie in the chairs next to me. My mum is talking too a doctor. I eavesdrop and hear most of the conversation.

    "If I'm right, Your daughter, Victoria Annabel Spring, attempted to Overdose on a type of Antidepressant, 'Prozac'?" The stranger faintly called to Mother. I take a glimpse at the Practitioners nametag. Her name is 'Viera'. The name sounds so weird but the name is so beautifully written. I get back to reality when I wanna hear this conversation while a white block covers my index finger and the IV Solution bag bubbles.