My Lavender - Hyunlix

15

,,I'm sorry" I say quietly as I grab a new cotton pad. ,,What do you mean?" ,,I'm sorry you got into a fight because of me and you look like this now and that you're in pain. I should have stayed at home'' I say sadly. ,,I should have known that Timo would do something stupid as soon as he had the chance. I knew something was going to happen today'' I feel like hitting myself right now. everything is my fault. Hyunjin takes my face in his hands and holds them out forcing me to look at him. ,,Hey Lixie look at me" I open my eyes and look straight into his beautiful eyes. ,,It's not your fault. I would always fight the person who hurts you, Lixie. It was my decision. I just couldn't stand to see the person I love the most gets hurt. I would do it over and over again. It's not your fault'' he strokes my left cheek gently with his thumb and my eyes fill with water again, but I'm strong enough to hold them back. ,,You can't blame yourself for that, it was my own decision, you know?" I nod slightly. His beautiful, fawn brown eyes fascinate me, they radiate so much love and security. My stomach fills with thousands of butterflies. ,,lixi-a? I have to confess something to you'' Hyunjin almost whispers, but in a way that I can still hear it. I try to move away from his eyes, but instead I just turn my head slightly to the right, my eyes still locking on his own. ,,I think I fell in love with you" I widen my eyes - not believing what I just heard coming out of his mouth. ,,Hyun, that's not something to make jokes about" I say softly, trying to drown out my sadness in my voice. ,,I am serious. Since I saw you for the first time, you've done something to me, I've never felt anything like that before. I'm happy when you're with me, I seek your closeness and love when I'm with you - everything feels so lonely and cold when you're not there. I told myself for a long time that I was just imagining it, but when Timo told me that you were gay, I was surprised but in a positive way that I might really have a chance with you. When Timo insulted you earlier, the security in me slacked. I wasn't thinking and just wanted you to be safe. Felix, I fell in love with you'' a tear leaves my eye and hyunjin brushes it away with his thumb. ,,Don't cry" he says with a crooked, painful smile. ,,But I thought you weren't gay?" I ask confused. ,,I'm not, well I don't know yet what I really am. I've never fallen in love with a boy before. But I know that you are my missing piece of the puzzle in my life'' I nod. I can understand him, it also took ages for me to know who or what I am. ,,Would it be appropriate if I told you that I've had a crush on you since I first saw you?" I feel my face blush and Hyunjin's eyes light up. ,,Really?" he asks in disbelief and I nod. He hugs me with his strong arms and I close my eyes, enjoying the closeness to him. ,,Lixie, do you want to give me a chance?'' I don't have to think twice. "Yes!" I say happily. ,,All this is still completely new for me, but I try as best I can to make you happy and not to make any mistakes" I grin. ,,Oh Jinnie, it's okay to make mistakes. You don't have to do everything perfectly, we will get to know everything together and be there for each other'' he nods. ,,But would it be okay if we kept it to ourselves for now? I don't want to give you the feeling that I'm embarrassed or anything, but everything is still so new to me and I don't want to be directly overwhelmed'' I fully understand Hyunjin's way of thinking. ,,Of course'' I hug him again and then finish his wound treatment before we go back to the others. The break doesn't last too long, but we still sit down with our friends for a moment. When we entered the cafeteria, everyone turned to us, but this time it was Hyunjin, who, as always, walked towards our friends with complete confidence. ,,You're so happy" says Seungmin, and we immediately look at each other. ,,Oh yes, I told hyunjin that we're going to have ice cream later and he's looking forward to it'' I say giggling and Hyunjin quickly plays along with my lie. ,,Exactly, I mean with Ice Cream you can only be happy'' everyone nods and starts talking together again like before. Hyunjin and I also sit down and eat a little more until class starts again.

My mother will go crazy when she finds out about everything. Of course, I won't tell her right away and wait for Hyunjin to feel ready, but I'm sure my mother will be incredibly happy for us.

Timo didn't come back for the last two lessons and nobody really knows why, but I can't complain. Certain students still give me stupid looks, but now Hyunjin is much more in the center and in contrast to me, he even seems to enjoy the attention - which is nothing new for him. Hyunjin doesn't mind if the whole world revolves around him, I admire him immensely for that.

For once, the dance lessons were incredibly funny, dancing hasn't given me as much joy in a long time as it does today! We all had fun together and learned many playful dances together.

---

',,When will the others come?'' Hyunjin asks me as we get ready to go out and eat ice cream . ,,We'll meet at the ice cream parlor, Changbin said that you know the way, that's the easiest way for everyone" he nods at me and then puts his shoes on. Ever since talking to Hyunjin this morning it's kind of weird being around him, not negative but knowing he's sort of like my boyfriend now always makes my whole body tingle so pleasantly. ,,Ready?'' he asks me and this brings me back to reality since I had disappeared into the world of thoughts. I look at him and nod. ,,let's go'' hyunjin puts an arm around my shoulder and together we walk to the ice cream parlor, which to my astonishment was not that far away from our apartment. ,,The others are over there" I say, pointing to a large group of people, which is why we walk to the table together and say hello to everyone.

I sit down next to Changbin and Seungmin while Hyunjin sits down next to Minho and Bangchan on the other side of the table because there isn't any space next to each other and we don't want to ask the others to make room. ,,We haven't ordered anything yet because we wanted to wait for you" Jisung says and I grab the menu with the different types of ice cream on it, here in Korea there are so many types that I have never heard of and they usually look incredibly fancy too! ,,Do you already know which one you want, Lixie?'' I look at my opposite Hyunjin and nod. ,,I don't know if I'll like it, but I want to try the snowflake Red Ice Cream'' ,,oh I love that Ice Cream! Good choice'' I nod and then wait until everyone has finished deciding and we can order.

A little later our ice creams were brought to us and I have to say, mine looks incredibly delicious! I try one piece and immediately grimace. It definitely looks better than it tastes! Hyunjin, who has watched the whole thing with a grin, pushes his ice cream form towards me ,,we can swap if you want" I push mine towards him and take Hyunjin's ice cream thanking me. He ordered a huge pile of chocolate, after all, you can only love that!

,,Is it true that you are from Australia?'' Seungmin asks me and I nod to him in confirmation. ,,How nice! Bangchan is also from Australia. Yo Channie! Did you know that Felix is ​​also from Australia?'' Bangchan looks at me and smiles at me. ,,How nice, where were you born?'' ,,Sidney'' if you listen carefully, you can hear his Australian accent a bit. ,,Yah, me too!"

We spend the whole afternoon together in the Ice Cream Parlor and I get to know Jisung's group of friends better, the guys are all completely correct and a bit crazy - just how I love it! I'm thawing more and more by the hour and chatting with everyone else. Bangchan even started talking to me in English in between, which makes me really happy! My Korean is now very good, but I still love being able to speak English. I also found out that Bangchan's Aussie accent is stronger than mine, but of course I still understand it. Time just flies by and it's slowly getting dark outside, now that the days are getting shorter again it's often dark by 5 p.m. ,,Shall we go slowly? I still have to study for the exam'' Minho stretches and then looks around while everyone nods. We walk to the checkout together and just as I was about to pay, Hyunjin pushed in front of me and paid for both of our orders. I was about to say something when he turned to me and whispered in my ear ,,now it's time for me to take care of you and let my boyfriend behavier out'' I can feel the heat rising in my head. ,,Sweet" he whispers before he turns around again and thanks the cashier. ,,Come on" he puts his hand on my back and gently pushes me to the exit where everyone else is already waiting for us. ,,Why is Felix so red?'' Yeongin points his finger at me and everyone immediately turns to me. ,,Oh he almost fell over and I was just able to catch him in the last second, probably that's why" I look at Hyunjin and then nod very slowly - well, that could be something. we set off and little by little we say goodbye more and more to the others. Strangely, Jisung and Minho are still with us, although Minho's apartment is long gone - maybe he's going to Jisung's or they have other plans. I have observed very often today how well the two get along, Minho and Jisung are a bit like Hyunjin and I, because Minho hates physical contact even more than Hyunjin, but Jisung could stick to his side the whole time and it didn't bother him .