Find me in the shadows (Darklina fanfic)

Chapter 11

The way to the Fjerdan border was long and tiring. I was usually at the head of the procession or in a carriage with Nikolai, which meant I didn't see Aleksander much. After two days, we had a long stop at the military camp north of Ryevost. So Aleksander and I could go to Morozova's workshop. Nikolai was against this idea, but it wasn't up to him to decide.

In the first part of the road, we were silent as we were moving so fast. But we reduced speed when we moved through the woods. Aleksander started to tell me a story about how Baghra had taken him there for the first time and how he had been captured by records of his grandfather's experiments. Sometimes I could see that he was lost in his memories.

When we reached the workshop was mid-afternoon. After we tied our horses, we stood before the doors for a moment.

«Are you sure that you want to enter?» I asked Aleksander. I wasn't certain what we would see inside. Had Baghra's body fully burned? Or there was still the remaining of her body? My stomach turned to knot with these thoughts.

Aleksander nodded.

«Give me your knife,» he said.

I took a knife from the sheath and handed him. He cut his thumb, so I could see his blood. Red blood, not black.

«Your blood,» I said unintentionally.

«Has normal color again,» he finished for me. He put his thumb on the stone door, making it move.

When the door opened, I felt a strange smell of something burnt and rotten. Aleksander summon a beam of light and came inside. I followed him.

The stone coffins were in their places, but everything forward was burnt. When the full room was illuminated, I saw that the old stone walls became black from fire. Only ashes remained of Morozova's records. Then I gasped when I saw burnt bones on the floor. I felt nauseous and covered my mouth with a palm.

Aleksander stiffened beside me, his eyes were wide open. The light around flinched. I took his hand.

«Aleksander,» I called for him.

He turned his head, looking at me. I'd never seen him like that. It was undisguised pain on his face, and tears flickered in his eyes. My heart broke for him.

«It's my fault,» he whispered.

I shook my head. «No, it's not.»

«I must bury her remains,» he said. «It's my duty as her son.»

«One coffin is empty. I think she can rest near her mother,» I suggested.

He nodded.

«Can you leave me alone for a while,» he asked.

I hesitated, gazing at him. Then I squeezed his shoulder, as I spoke. «I will bring flowers.»

I left him there. When I came outside, I took a deep breath of the fresh air. I made a bouquet of forest flowers, wild lilac. I didn't think Baghra would like it, I couldn't even imagine that she had liked flowers.

As soon as the bouquet was ready, I returned inside. Aleksander was sitting on the ground near the coffin. His elbows rested on his knees. He turned his head from me, as he tried to hide his tears. I put flowers down on the coffin. Then I reached out to him, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.

«Don't hide your tears from me. You mourn her, it's alright. She was your mother,» I said.

He looked up at me. I cupped his face, wiping away his tears with my thumbs.

«She was a terrible mother, but she had done so much to keep me safe. But in the end...» He scowled. «I was a terrible son.» I could hear the pain in his voice, the sense of loss that he felt.