All I've Ever Known

18 - Louis

They did not lay in bed and fuck all day, much to Louis' disappointment. After another round or two of mind boggling, earth shattering sex, it had just gone lunch time. Louis showered after Harry and met him in the kitchen where he was loading a picnic basket full of snacks and sandwiches. They walked hand in hand out of the cottage and made their way along the small stoned path leading towards the back of the property. The sun was bright in the sky today with no clouds in sight, they found a shady tree which Harry laid out a picnic rug and began removing sandwiches.

"I've got cheese and salad, or I've made ham for you or there's ham and salad, I didn't know which one you'd want so I made lots" Harry grinned shyly, Louis tried not to fond too much at how adorable his boyfriend is.

"Ham and salad sound's good, trust you to make me eat more vegetables, baby" Louis grinned, taking the sandwich that Harry handed him.

They ate in comfortable silence, watching the ducks swimming on the gold fish pond which was bigger than it looked from the windows of the cottage. Louis felt so comfortable in Harry's presence, although it had only been such a short time and he wasn't sure what the future held for them, he was content that this time maybe it would all work out. Still, he knew that he and Harry had to talk about the fact that Louis was meant to be going home in three days, he also knew that if Harry asked him to stay, he would. Selfishly, he wanted Harry to want him to stay, he knew that so much would change once they were out of their 'Australian Bliss' Louis had named it. He let the feeling stew of the thought of leaving Harry and it made his stomach twist tightly, they should talk about it. He should be the one to bring it up too, rather than letting Harry make all of the hard conversations first, he dared to speak-

"So, not to be the bearer of bad news but I kinda am leaving soon" Louis hesitantly spoke, brushing his crumbs from his thighs and daring not to look at Harry to gage his reaction

"Oh" Harry murmured softly

"Yeah" He whispered, hoping that Harry would say more, but to no avail.

The silence then became uncomfortable, why did he have to bring it up? Things were going so well and now it feels awkward and tense like it did before they confessed all their feelings. Still, Louis knew that if this was going to work, he had to be more honest and communicate with his boyfriend. One of the massive reasons they always used to fight was because Louis would keep so much bottled in until it would all explode up into Harry's face, he didn't want to do that again, he couldn't ruin the best thing that's happened to him. The fact that it's happened again, him and Harry, he dared not to be the one to make their relationship harder than it needed to be this time.

"I'm sorry" Louis sighed, "I know you probably don't want to talk about me leaving when we're having such a nice time but, I-I" Harry was staring at him intensely, he tried to not let it falter him, refusing to get deterred from having an honest conversation.

"I want this to work this time, Harry. I don't want half assed conversations and me keeping my feelings from you because I'm afraid to hurt them, I don't want you to keep things from me. I want us to be honest and I definitely don't want us to have stupid fights because we weren't saying what we really mean" Louis finished off, Harry had an unreadable expression on his face for a few seconds and then his mouth turned up into a small smile, his left dimple popping in his cheek.

He lifted his hand and rubbed the side of Harry's face, brushing a loose curl behind his ear as best he could, his hair was shorter now than it used to be. Harry let his smile get bigger and Louis felt butterflies in his stomach just from the adoring look his boyfriend was giving him.

"I want that too" Harry said softly, nuzzling into Louis palm and pressing a soft kiss against his thumb, "I don't want to do secrets and hiding feelings, I know there were different circumstances last time and we were a lot younger than we are now, I want an adult relationship, Lou. I want it with you, everything you said" Harry looked shy after his confession, but Louis couldn't be happier.

Happy that he had Harry, happy they were on the same page, happy that they had managed to find each other again, even happy that he seemed to have more energy again, he was eating better, sleeping better, he just felt so happy. Genuinely happy, happier than he had felt in such a long time. Probably since the day Freddie was born if he was being honest. He leant over and captured Harry in a soft kiss, laying him down on the picnic rug and letting him set the pace.

The pair laid there on their sides, hands roaming one another's bodies lovingly as they kissed, their chests pressed against each other's and their breathing in perfect sync. Unlike so many of their other kisses which usually got heated in record time, Louis was content that this one was soft, slow, and full of love. He let Harry move his mouth, cup his cheek and play with the hair on the nape of his neck. It went like that for a long while, both of them so wrapped up in a little bubble that consumed them.

Sighing heavily into Harry's mouth, they parted but kept just as close, Louis hand trailed down his boyfriend's arm, intertwining their fingers and playing with his many rings.

"When do you have to leave" Harry sighed out in a sullen tone

"Friday" Louis said just as disappointedly, it was already Wednesday and Louis wasn't prepared for only two more nights with Harry yet, "Unless-" he whispered so quietly he would be sure Harry hadn't heard anything unless he whipped his head up, hopefulness glaring through his eyes

"Unless?" Harry questioned, Louis took a deep breath

"Unless you asked me to stay" He muttered out in one quick breath

"Do you want to stay?"

"Do you want me to want to stay" Louis quizzed, a small smile on his and Harry's face

"I thought you said we weren't going to play games and be honest about our feelings" Harry teased lightly making Louis let out a breathy laugh

"Well technically I asked you a question first" Louis retorted back

"I can't ask you to stay, Louis, it's not fair" Harry shook his head, making his curly ruffle in Louis face slightly

"What if I don't want it to be fair?" Louis stated simply

Harry looked as if he was having an internal moment of conflict, his brows furrowed slightly, just as his mouth opened, his phone began ringing. Louis rolled his eyes slightly as Harry removed himself from their entangled limbs, muttering a 'sorry' as he got to his feet and accepted the call. Of course, Louis was going to try not to ease drop and as Harry hadn't gone too far it was hard not to.

"Hey Jeff... Um we-no, we're still here... Yeah he loved them, thank you for organizing this for me..." Harry looked at Louis and mouthed another 'sorry' to which Louis shook his head and send him a smile. Harry rolled his eyes and continued on the phone-

"Yeah I was planning on being back tonight at some stage-Oh?...Um yeah okay I'll leave now... No, it's okay Jeff... Yes, it's fine if I've gotta work I've gotta work y'know... Yeah, I'm sure he'll understand too... Okay I'll see you in a few hours... Yeah, I will, okay... Okay, bye" Harry hung up the phone and let out a frustrated groan.

"I'm sorry, baby" Harry sighed, plopping down on the rug and began packing up all of their things, "Jeff said he got me this radio interview early tomorrow before I have to fly up to the Gold Coast and he wants me back at the hotel like sooner rather than later" His boyfriend was frantically putting everything away, his voice wavering and Louis noticed his hands shaking slightly. He grabbed both of his hands-

"Babe, it's okay yeah? Take a deep breath, I knew we couldn't stay here forever yeah? C'mon I'll help you with all this and then we can pack our things and get going, okay?" Louis spoke calmly, kissing Harry's cheek softly, loving the small red that tinted his cheeks from the small action.

"Y-yeah okay, just-I thank you" Harry breathed out, they packed everything away and made their way up to the cottage. The conversation of Louis staying or going still up in the air despite the fact that Harry was leaving the state tomorrow, and Louis was left unsure if that flight included him.