Inheritance

Chapter 30

After agreeing to stay the night, Kendall lent me a pair of sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt from one of his cabinet drawers. Gazing back at my reflection in his bathroom mirror, I tried to convince myself that I had been prepared to sleep in his bed. By the end of tonight, I knew that our complicated relationship would have surely made considerable progress.

Hesitantly emerging from the bathroom door, I headed towards his regal bedroom where he laid comfortably tucked underneath the dark sheets. Shirtless, I might add. With his attention focused elsewhere, I took the opportunity to assess his living arrangements.

His room could be most appropriately categorized as boyishly black, yet still well-decorated with a sophisticated edge. Every color and scheme contained in the luxurious room had been carefully coordinated. Numerous art pieces hung along the back wall, a rare collection of relics lined the ceiling-high steel shelf, and an assortment of eccentric lamps were kilted on their own stands. From the mere setup alone, I felt like I was getting a glimpse into his impenetrable mind.

Laying down beside him, I neatly stacked my work clothes on top of the dresser adjacent to my side of the bed. When he clapped his hands, the lights in the room dimmed. Under the soothing hues of the night sky, we watched an unfamiliar television drama. That is, until a random thought crossed my mind.

"Why'd you break up with Patricia?" I asked, hoping for an honest response.

I felt his body shift beside me, as he draped an arm around my waist. Pulling me closer, he placed us in a spooning position. When my butt made contact with something firm, I was forced to believe that the man had a chronic condition that caused him to be in a constant state of arousal.

"Because I wasn't interested." He simply hummed over my head.

"Then why did you lead her on for so long?" Much to my dismay, my insecurities were starting to reveal themselves. His hand propositioned to turn my body around, so that we now faced one another.

"Because that's what I do, Sasha. I use women until they are no longer of service to me. Every woman I've ever dated has meant nothing to me but sex. Yet, somehow with you, it's different." 

His eyes twinkled, and I felt like I could finally see him for who he was. A little boy who had felt unwanted by his family, by me. In a way, he had learned to rely on women's desire to fulfill this anchoring absence. I'm sure it was a direct result of being forced to grow up at a young age and face things most would never have the fortitude to take on.

"What are we, Kendall? Tell me what it is before I get too attached. Do you want me or do you just want to sleep with me?" I didn't hold back. We were two grown adults and it was time we started being honest with ourselves.

"I won't deny that I want to fuck you. And had you wanted to do the same, we would be having a completely different conversation. One that didn't involve much talking." He took a brief pause, while assessing my reaction to the suggestive framing of his words. "But, I also want to get to know you. I want to learn more about what makes you smile, laugh, cry...you just have to be patient with me. I'm not who you think I am."

There it was again. What did he mean by that?

"You keep saying stuff like that, yet there's nothing you could ever do to make me feel afraid of you. Of this. Look, I'm not sure where things are going between us, but I want you to know that I'm not like the other girls you've dealt with. I refuse to let you use me, then discard me when you're all done."

"You think I don't know that? I just have a history that...complicates things, Sasha. Regardless of all that, I'm trying to move forward with you. I want to be the man you deserve."