Sparks Fly | ✓

0:51

“Brozzay!” Hendrichs cheered with a grin on his face. He met Amaru halfway, dapping him up, before he pulled him into a firm and lengthy hug.

“Fam!” He barely spoke above a whisper. “Am I not glad to see you!? You brought the whole squad too!” He smiled once he’d separated from Hendrichs, taking a look at everyone who was in the hospital room with him. He quickly glanced at the door, before his smile reduced into a small - almost thin one.

“She’s back in Chicago.” Logan spoke up, having caught that he was looking for Shane.

“Pretty fair. I don’t blame her. Thank you all for coming though, kinda surreal to still be breathing when you kind of did not want to anymore.” He softly chuckled to himself, dropping his gaze to his hands.

“I’m just really glad you made it back to us.” Logan responded first, walking to his side, then bending down to embrace Amaru, “I missed you brother.” He didn’t bother to hide his voice that had become shaky, and his eyes that had filled up with moisture.

“Logan just went straight into it huh.” Mike chuckled, unsure on what to say, and how to hold himself with Amaru.

“Honestly, there’s no need to be weird about it. I shot myself, it did not work. There’s no need to walk on eggshells, really.” Amaru looked up at everyone, “Hi Lena. What’s going on?”

She smiled, shaking her head at how Amaru was so calm, and collected despite all that had happened. “Hi Maru. Missed you.” She stretched out her hand, then placed it right back to her side.

“Please don’t do that again. I know you wanted to escape, but you leaving caused a lot of pain - pain I cannot begin to describe. I’m there for you brother. We are all here for you. You are not alone.” Hendrichs shared with Amaru. He had not intended to be this frank with him, however, he had given them the permission to be real with him and he was taking it.

“I don’t think it's quite the right time to be speaking of ‘you should have Henz’.” Logan spoke softly, looking over his shoulder.

“I’m not talking about ‘you should have’, I’m simply asking him to share his pain, and not carry the burden alone. I’m pleading with him not to choose to end his life again, but rather to share that he doesn’t have the capacity to want to live again. So that we can step in, so that we can pray, so that we can help him in any way possible. So that we can avoid people getting hurt.” Hendrichs responded quite passionately, that the room remained silent for a moment, then another, before Amaru chose to respond.

“At that moment, I just wanted the pain to go away. It was too much, all at the same time. I could never wish losing a mother, let alone a parent to my worst enemy. I honestly don’t regret shooting myself, I just regret doing it in front of Shane. I regret pointing the gun at her. I just wanted her to stop, I did not want her to stop me.” He shook his head as tears fell out of his eyes.

“She was such an amazing support system to me. The best of friends in such a short space of time, and I said thank you in the worst way possible. I appreciate you all being happy to have me back, but I honestly feel numb, I am not up for living. I just want to apologize to my home girl, to Shane - then pray that God takes me, because this cannot be life.”

The room got eerily quiet, as everyone did not know what to say. He’d shared the truth that had been buried within his heart since his eyes had opened up, and his senses reconnected. His sister had been happy to see him, he had no choice but to smile and be merry. However, since Hendrichs had asked him to be real - he told them the uncomfortable truth that no one that cared for him would love to hear.

“Bruh.” Mike sighed, running his hand down his face. “You cannot seriously want to die after escaping death in the way that you did.”

“A miracle, they said.” Amaru softly chuckled, “I know it’s not something you want to hear, but that’s the truth. I honestly wish God hadn’t saved me from death.”