Sparks Fly | ✓

0:50

A huge sense of relief settled in her heart — a feeling she did not even know she had when it came to Amaru. Yet here she was, seemingly relieved to hear that he was awake. However, the feeling dissipated as fast as it had arrived, the familiar disdain settling at the forefront of her heart yet again.

“That’s nice.” She blurted out, her voice choosing to be monotonous.

“You’re going to act nonchalant about this, when you were just scared that he’s died?” He questioned, his voice saturated with a bit of aggression.

“Must have been an involuntary reaction to the news. Could have been shock that he’s asking for me after what he did. You already knew my answer Lo, I don’t know why you even bothered yourself with calling me.” Her voice remained flat, as her mind chose not to show any emotion. Her mind was protecting her from the rollercoaster of emotions she just had in the past twenty-four hours. How could a day that started out so well, have ended this badly?

“He’s alive Shane! Can’t you put the anger aside and just go hear him? He probably wants to apologise.” He pleaded with her, however, her heart was not moved at all.

“Can’t you put your joy aside and realize that he pointed a gun to my face, then turned around and shot himself in the head, right in my face? Can’t you put your joy aside right now and realize that nigga scarred me for life? You have the obligation to go visit him, that’s your homie. Not mine though, so y’all have a safe trip.” There was not a single sign of sincerity in her voice as she relayed her response. All that could be heard was the venom stuck at the back of her tongue.

“I think you’re being selfish.” He relented, but Shane scoffed.

“You better choose your words wisely Logan, because you could end our friendship right this moment. Is his selfishness better than mine because he’s awake now? Guess what, I’ve been awake and barely living without an apology. He’ll be fine.”

“I know what he did was wrong, and really, I am sorry that you have to carry that memory with you. However, I’m begging you from the bottom of my heart, to please make this trip. I’m not saying be friends with him again, but let this be a moment of talking about what happened so you can both move on. Closure. For the both of you.”

“He doesn’t deserve peace for what he did to me. I’m not going to give him that peace of mind. If not seeing him means he’s going to have that internal struggle within him for quite some time, then good. Let him feel how I felt. You can call me selfish for that, I’ll own it. I’ve really got to go, so you have a minute to say whatever else you want to say. Just know my mind is not changing. I’m not going to New York.”

“I empathise with you, I really do. However, I need a break from our friendship because wow. That is not what a good hearted person should have said. I would have understood a, 'I’m not ready to see him' kind of response. However, to have the actual audacity to say what you said. I’m sorry Shane, I can’t be your friend right now.” He shared, and her eyes became blurry at his words.

“But you can be his friend after he did that to me?” Her voice shook, her heart breaking yet again. This could not be life right now.

“I just don’t think he did that from a place of malice, not intentionally at the very least. I honestly think he just wanted to escape all the pain. Grief manifests in people in different ways. Amaru is not a horrible person, however, you saying what you just said — and now connecting it to what you did to Annalise…I just don’t get how a person with a good heart would do that.”

“I’ll just stop this conversation here Logan. It’s alright, we really don’t have to be friends anymore. I get it. I’m the villain. Have a safe trip, you can lose the number as well.” She immediately ended call, and placed her phone down. Her hands trembled, as did her lips. She ran her hands through her hair, trying to suck up all her emotions. She needed to leave Chicago. Start some place new.