Reasons to Stay // Hyunin

~12~

Knock, knock. "Can I come in?"

No response. Hannie sighed. Lee Know was getting colder and colder every day. He opened the door gently and went inside with some food. "Hi."

Lee Know was sitting on the edge of his bed as usual and didn't even look up to see Hannie. He mumbled something that Han couldn't understand so Han said, "What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"...I'm interested to know!"

Lee Know sighed, obviously annoyed. "I said, 'Why do you ask that and why should I answer because if I say yes or I say no you come in anyways.' It's not like my answer matters."

"..." Hannie set the tray on the night table and said, "Gym today at 3. And here, eat your food."

Know's frown deepened and instead of eating obediently he changed his position, lay down on the bed, and faced the wall, his back facing Hannie. "I don't wanna eat." he muttered.

"Well...you gotta if you're gonna work out this afternoon."

"Who said I was working out?"

"Well...Eun–"

"Who said I listen to Eun?"

Han bit his lip, not knowing how to answer. Lee Know seemed extra talkative today for some reason, and although Han loved to hear his voice, he wished the words to come out at him weren't always so harsh. It was quiet for a moment, Lee Know lying there and Han standing to watch him. Lee Know's body looked tired and ready to give up anything.

It hurt Han that over the years he could see that Lee Know had lost his fire. He remembered when he was first assigned to this regiment and Lee Know was stubborn, ignoring the officers when they wanted him to talk and making a huge ruckus when they wished him to shut up. And now, look at him. Today was actually one of his occasional bad days, Lee Know would refuse to do anything they said. But he never raised his voice anymore, barely ever opened his mouth unless he was muttering something no one could hear anyways.

And Han knew why Lee Know had such a drop in spirit and health recently; because two weeks ago, one of the gangsters had come and told Lee Know that after all these years, his little brother Jeongin was finally confirmed dead without capture. And Lee Know had started wilting away. Which made Hannie feel so guilty! Because he knew where Jeongin was! He had stood less than 6 feet away from him and knew the school he was going to! And he also knew that... Jeongin was a target of murder.

As Han was thinking these things, Lee Know suddenly spoke up. "Why don't you beat me up?"

Han went *blink-blink* with his eyes, "Uh, excuse me what?"

"Nevermind."

"No sorry I was thinking about something. What did you say?"

"'Why don't you beat me up.'"

Han was still confused by the question for some reason. "What do you mean, I never beat you up."

Lee Know showed frustration in his voice. "Exactly. I'm asking, why don't you, because I know you're supposed to. But don't answer, I changed my mind and I don't really care."

Han swallowed. One thing, it was a perfect opportunity to confess. Second thought, but he hates me so what's the use, he'll just think I'm weird. Third reminder, anyone could be hearing the conversation right now. And then Han's rule-breaking would be figured out— "No romance or thought for any captive."

Hannie gulped and played with his fingers nervously. "Because I don't want to hurt you."

"...why not?"

"I don't like hurting people."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I have to be."

Now all Han had to do was hope that no one else heard what he said because then he'd be dead meat. But hopefully Lee Know got the message.

Lee Know spoke up, "But I want you to hurt me."

"Why?" Hannie frowned.

"I want to die."

Han wanted to come over and give Lee Know a hug and tell him that everything'd be okay, but wouldn't that be too much?! Especially when he's the one with the note to kill him! "N-no you don't..."

"Why should you care?"

Because I love you.

"J-just eat your food, I'll see you at 3." Hannie walked over to the door and fumbled with the knob, then he left the room.

Lee Know lay on his side and watched Han's back as he left, then heard the click of the lock. He slowly turned his head to stare at the food on the little table...

Sigh. If he had to work out this afternoon, then might as well just eat it.

- - - -

Han showed up at 3 o'clock sharp as he said he would, and at this time Lee Know was more dull than ever so he just stood up and followed Han without any words. They arrived at the gym and Han started stretches and stuff, then they did some other warm-ups and maybe some equipment.

It came to bench pressing when Han told Lee Know to lie down on the board and pick the weights to work with. Everything was going smoothly so that Han even took out his phone to scroll Instagram while waiting for Lee Know.

Maybe he was too wrapped up in the media because he didn't notice right away that Lee Know was barely making any noise. "Are you done yet?" he asked casually while scrolling.

When Lee Know didn't give a response Han looked at him and was surprised. Lee Know had pressed the weight onto his neck in an effort to take his life and he fainted, besides his lips were turning grey. Hannie hurried and frantically struggled with the weight off his throat. NO... Why was he so careless as to look away from his job?! "Lee Know...wake up..." Han mumbled as he tried to shake him awake. Lee Know's eyes were closed but he was breathing heavy since the weight was taken off.

"Baby...please just wake up..." Han was close to tears, as he saw Lee Know had been lying idle for three minutes now.

Baby? Lee Know was actually awake although he was feeling dizzy and weak, he's just pretending to still be unconscious.

"Baby I'm sorry...please wake up and tell me you're okay!" Hannie begged.

"I am awake." Lee Know suddenly said and his eyes popped open. He found the situation funny all of a sudden and was in truth finding it hard to hide a smirk.

Hannie's eyes got big and his mouth dropped open. "You're– awake–!" and before Lee Know could answer, Hannie had wrapped his arms around Lee Know tightly, hugged him, buried his face in Lee Know's chest and cried.

Lee Know froze. He had forgotten the love, warmth, and comfort in being hugged. The last time he had been hugged was the night of the fire...before his little Innie was going to bed.

It felt nice to be hugged again.