Reasons to Stay // Hyunin

~39~

Day 5.

Innie had been lying still in white sheets for five days now. Chan had stayed with him day in day out, having asked permission to "work from home." He was getting used to sleeping on the hard guest cot beside Innie's bed.

It was the weekend and Chan had slept in a little later today. Dreaming of a conscious Jeongin who was happy because he had parents, Chan didn't notice the door quietly open.

Felix peeked into the room and saw that all the lights were off and it was completely silent. Oops. He had assumed that Chan would be awake by this time in the morning.

He quietly crept over to Jeongin's bed and got a good look at Innie's face. It was peaceful, just as if he were sleeping regularly. Chan had texted updates to Lix a few days ago, and he knew that Jeongin was actually in a coma. He carefully sat down in the empty chair on the other side of the bed and looked at his phone, waiting for Chan to wake up.

Unbeknownst to Felix, Jeongin's mind had awoke after sensing movement, and Innie, unable to control his body and thus couldn't open his eyes, didn't know what or who was beside him. He felt scared and hopeless, especially since the someone wasn't making a noise at all. He'd heard about silent killers before...Where was Chan? Had he left to get breakfast? What time was it?

Felix shifted slightly in his seat, and Jeongin heard his every move. He prated for God to protect him. How many near-death instances had he experienced up until now? Too many. He hoped he wasn't in another one.

Suddenly he heard movement to his right as well. Chan had sat up abruptly upon waking up and seeing a figure beside Jeongin, but he relaxed when he saw who it was. "Hey, you scared me, mate." He laughed.

"Sorry," Felix smiled. "I guess I came a little too early."

Jeongin felt relief in recognizing the familiar deep voice. To be honest, he hadn't thought about Felix too much recently. He wanted to sit up and ask so many questions. How was Lix lately? How was Changbin doing? What was going on at school? And most of all, Jeongin wished to apologise. Apologise for ignoring Lix and mocking his thoughts on Hyunjin. Look at what state I.N was in now.

Hyunjin.

Jeongin had been awake and had heard Lee Know and Chan's every word. He had felt shattered and heartbroken upon hearing about Hyunjin's true identity—a gangster. And now Hyunjin was the boss, apparently?! You should get an Oscar for acting, Jeongin thought sorely. The crack in his heart had quickly been mended and filled by ice. Hwang Hyunjin...I was dumb. I thought you were you. I gave you too many chances. You took advantage of my past hurt and naiveness. You pretended you cared. I hate you. I hate you so, so much.

But the more he tried to convince himself, the more Innie sank under the unbearable truth that he still loved Hyunjin.

----

"Hyunjin-ssi?"

It had been over 24 hours since the young leader had come out of his room. Jong had become slightly concerned and had decided to check on him, knocking on the door because it was locked. There was no answer.

"Hyunjin." Ah-Jong said a little louder and he knocked harder. Standing still, the man didn't hear anything on the other side of the door. "I'm coming in with a key," he warned.

The man picked at the lock and opened up. The first thing he noticed was the open window. The curtains, affected by the wind, were flying freely in the room. There was no Hyunjin.

He stepped slowly into the room and noticed Hyunjin's cellphone on the bed. He picked it up and turned it on, hoping to find some clue of what had happened. He was surprised that the phone gave him immediate access without a passcode. Then he realized that Hyunjin's phone had been completely reset. A box popped up and asked about setting up Apple ID.

He looked around the room and noticed that it was organized and clean, unlike the boy he knew. He walked over to the dresser and opened it up, expecting by now for it to be empty. There were a few old clothes and a paper with words scrawled on it.

Ah-Jong? I know you will be reading this. It's only for you. Please burn it when you're done.

You're really the best guy in this gang and I don't know how you're here because you seem like such a good human. That's not really my point but I wanted to tell you that I really appreciate you understanding me and being behind my back when I took Eun's position.

You notice I'm not in my room and my things are gone...you're smart enough to know that I've left, or the word I want to you, I've escaped. I don't think I'm coming back. I can't anymore...the gang, let alone the position, is too much for me. I'm only a child.

I left my phone and anything that would even possibly give traces to where I am. I want to start a new life, with Jeongin or not. I want to work hard and be a good person. I'm sure you understand.

I want to forget that I was ever part of the gang. I won't forget you though. I'll remember you as someone who stayed beside me during the hard times. I just hope that I'm not too old to start a new and better life. I want to be happy. You'll understand, won't you? You've always understood.

I already know you'll worry about me. Please don't. I don't know what you'll do with the gang now, but I'll be fine. I promise. I'll fit in with society. I'll be someone new.

Thank you again for everything you've done for me, I wish you the best as well.

~hyunjin

Jong stared at the paper. He read it twice. He read it three times. Young people like Hyunjin ought to have a better life. Such a handsome, charming boy. He'd always thought it was a pity that boys like Hyunjin had lived such a terrible life.

He smiled to himself as he folded the paper up, ready to burn it. Hyunjin-ah...I give you my best hopes and blessings in life.