Reasons to Stay // Hyunin

~40~

"Jeonginnie, today's lunch is your favorite hamburgers, if only you could sit up and eat with me."

Jeongin's mind woke up to Channie's endearing voice and he sighed inwardly. He hadn't had hamburgers for forever. Well, he hadn't had anything for forever. When would he be physically able to respond? Hopefully, today.

The doctor came in and Jeongin heard the "rum-rum" of the machine like everyday at noon. However, today's went a little longer than usual, it seemed.

"Bang Chan," the doctor said in an interesting voice. "It seems as if we see some...improvement in his head. He might actually be inwardly aware, just not physically yet."

"What? Really?" Chan said, excited, hurrying over to the computer and diagnostics the doctor was running.

I've BEEN inwardly aware all along, thought Jeongin. And I hope to be outwardly aware today too. I want to surprise Channie-hyung by suddenly sitting up and talking. I hope I haven't forgotten how to talk.

Chan turned toward Innie lying on the bed. "Innie-yah, can you hear me? Once you're better I'll treat you to all the best things. You can hear and react now? Do you know who I am?"

"Of course hyung," Jeongin's mouth suddenly moved.

Chan's eyes widened and the doctor's head whipped around. They gawked at the boy lying on the bed, his eyes opened and looking at them strangely.

"Innie-yah?!"

"Channie-hyung?"

"You're awake!"

Jeongin was wrapped up in a tight hug from his Channie-hyung and he even managed to raise an arm and hug him back. "I been awake," Jeongin's voice was muffled in Chan's shoulder.

The doctor ran some tests and was very confused that Jeongin's current state was just as if he'd never gone unconscious. Jeongin's body was just a little weak from lack of use, but other than that he was the exact same as when he'd been going to school months earlier. Chan couldn't let go of Jeongin, just hugged him tightly and rocked him around, laughing and what seemed like going insane of happiness. "What do you want, Jeonginnie, tell me and I'll give it to you! Are you hungry?"

"Kind of," Jeongin admitted and Chan gave him a hamburger. The doctor was worried about Jeongin eating foods like that right away, but Jeongin ate huge bites like he'd eaten everyday. It was terrifyingly amazing.

The hype settled down and Chan sat next to the bed, Jeongin sitting up and continuing to eat. "So where do you want to go from here, Innie?" Chan asked him.

Jeongin thought. Well, with the gang out of the way now, Jeongin actually felt like going to school and doing better. Getting right with Felix and maybe even trying to make some new friends. Graduating and going to a good college. Jeongin was worried that maybe he'd skipped too many days of school and wouldn't be able to graduate. "I...kinda want to go back to school and just...be like before I guess," Jeongin shrugged.

"Ah I see," Chan replied, and asked the doctor, "When do you think he can get out?"

"Well," the doctor replied, still perplexed, "it seems that that's up to him. I mean, he c-could leave now if he wanted. There doesn't seem to be anything...wrong?"

"Do you feel like it?" Chan asked Jeongin.

"Sure hyung, I can leave now," Jeongin said with unexpected readiness.

It didn't take long to get things ready, and within a couple hours, Jeongin was finally on his way back home.

----

3 months later

"So, one iced americano, small size? Is that it?"

"Yes, please, thank you."

"Name for the order?"

Hyunjin worked diligently at the small but delightful café that he'd been hired for the past two months. It paid just enough for his needs and apartment. Besides the fact that he was quite lonely, Hyunjin enjoyed life in a city far, far away, where no one knew about his past life. He loved the relaxing simplicity and wished he'd found this happiness sooner.

The entrance door opened and the tinkling bell sounded; Hyunjin looked up to see a customer coming in. "Welcome~" Hyunjin said cheerily and smiled as she came to the front counter to order.

"What can I get for—"

Hyunjin unintentionally paused as he made eye contact with the girl. Her sharp eyes, like those of a fox's, only reminded Hyunjin of the person whom he'd been trying to forget for the past months. "...f-for you, sorry," Hyunjin finished, flustered.

"Could I have a..." the girl smiled and Hyunjin noticed the dimples in her cheeks. Hyunjin was dumbfounded. Was this a sign or...just a joke from life to torture him?

As he took out the order mechanically, Hyunjin's mind overflowed with thoughts that he'd dared not to think for the past months. How was...Jeongin doing? He'd been rushed to the hospital after being drugged, right? Had he survived? He had to have. And that was already a while ago. What was Jeongin doing now? Back in school? Was the gang still after him?

Where was Han? And Lee Know? Having not replied to any of his messages, Hyunjin had assumed Han had blocked him. Was he still angry? Was he living a normal life? Had he found his way like Hyunjin?

"Rya," Hyunjin called out the order name and the girl came to get her drink. "Thank you," she said and Hyunjin mouthed a "no problem". His eyes subconsciously landed on the hoodie design she was wearing. "Class of..."

A senior. Wasn't Jeongin a senior as well? Hyunjin remembered that in his fake school identity, he'd be set to graduate that year. What was today's date?

Later on break, Hyunjin checked his phone. He felt obliged to look at the school calendar online. Graduation...in five days?! Did that mean Jeongin was graduating in five days?!

Hyunjin went on social media and searched around. He went through senior class pictures. Evidently one group had gone mountain climbing about a week ago. The picture caught Hyunjin's attention because he'd noticed Felix Lee's face near the center of the photo. He scanned around for a certain someone's face. Then, at the end of the middle row, Hyunjin spotted him.

Jeongin with that bright smile of his, flashing a peace sign, alive and looking completely well. He'd even dyed his hair a reddish-brown color.

Hyunjin stared longingly at the boy. He seemed to be happy, enjoying life. The tips of Hyunjin's mouth lifted slightly, in a bittersweet smile because he knew he still loved Jeongin.

But did Jeongin still love him? Did he miss Hyunjin? Did he ever think of Hyunjin? Hyunjin was certain that Jeongin not only didn't love him, but that he hated him.

It...would be okay. Afterall, Hyunjin, who had made Innie's life so miserable, shouldn't get what he wants, right? He didn't deserve anything good...

He especially didn't deserve Jeongin's love. Let the boy be happy and Hyunjin would admire him from a distance.

That's the way HyunIn would end.