Reasons to Stay // Hyunin

~26~

As Hyunjin was leaving the hospital, he saw Han sitting in the lobby. Han looked up from his phone and stood up. "What are you doing here?!" he hissed.

"..."

"What's wrong with you," Han said, slightly annoyed because Hyunjin was acting weird.

"I was just visiting somebody."

"Who?"

"...Jeongin?"

Han's eyes widened, "Why's he here?"

"Blacked-out or something..." Hyunjin mumbled then gave Han a guilty look that made the latter somewhat scared. "W-what's wrong with you," Han repeated.

"Hannie I have to tell you something," Hyunjin averted eye contact and Han felt his skin crawl. "What, make it quick."

Low enough that no one could here, Han could barely hear even, Hyunjin whispered, "I don't think I can be a part of Eun anymore."

Han held his breath, he wanted to yell and squeeze Jinnie, "Yes! Take me with you!" but he was at a hospital and people would think their suspicious. All he could answer was a breathless, "Really?"

"Yeah..." Hyunjin slid, and looked at Han's reaction out of the corner of his eye.

"What made you think that?" Han asked, hiding his excitement.

"Well...you'll think it's weird," Hyunjin mumbled again, feeling insecure.

"It's okay, I won't," Han prodded, "besides Hyunjin...you know I have been wanting to leave for a while."

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows, "Really. That's because you have a crush on #1025 don't you," he snickered and Hannie shushed him.

"Well, Eun got part of what he wants. One target is dead," Han muttered and they were both silent. "You know Jinnie I've been trying to protect I.N from you because hurting innocent people is cruel, I hope you've realized that by now."

"Yeah...I don't know why I was like that. But I think—" he stopped and mumbled, "Never mind."

"What," Han asked.

"I said nevermind."

"What!" Han urged.

Hyunjin was annoyed and they were probably getting some looks from the front desk. But Han is his best friend for all these years and now that they both want to abandon the gang, "Fine but I think I like Jeongin."

"Really? That's so cute!" Han exclaimed and Hyunjin shushed him, give him an evil eye. He thought about telling Han about almost killing Jeongin in the car before the incident at Felix's but decided not to. Han lowered his voice, "So what are we doing about our missions? Are you still going to the school?"

If Hyunjin stopped going to school, it would make Jeongin suspicious. He already skipped enough days to already be in suspicion. And about the mission...if Eun figured out that both Han and Hyunjin had crushes on their mission targets, then they would be dead meat and someone else would do the job. "Well...we still have two weeks?" he reminded hopefully.

"Lee Know knows I like him," Han admitted, "does Jeongin know you like him?"

Well I mean I would think so since we kissed and stuff a few minutes ago but—"Yeah I think so," Hyunjin replied. "But he doesn't know I'm part of a gang and I'm supposed to kill him."

"You should tell him then. I'm sure he'll understand."

Hyunjin nodded but he knew he wouldn't be doing that. Telling Jeongin was easy. Getting Jeongin to believe him was a different story. Han didn't know how mentally tangled Innie was right now. And if he really believed Hyunjin, then he probably wouldn't like him anymore because of what Hyunjin had already did to him those nights that Han didn't know about.

Why is my life like this?

- - - -

"So...who exactly is that Hyunjin guy? A classmate? I've never even heard his name once in our house before," Chan joked to Innie as they were eating their dinners in the room.

"Yeah, he came after school started," Jeongin replied.

"You seem, uh, kinda close to him?" Chan commented, hoping that he could get Jeongin to talk a little more but he's always had trouble getting words out of the boy.

"He's like my only friend at school," Jeongin replied with a tint of frustration in his voice.

"Oh. And Felix right?"

Jeongin paused. Chan didn't know anything about their little squabbles and that Jeongin hadn't been on good terms with Felix for a while now. "R-right, and Felix." He laughed shortly. "I forgot about him for a second."

Chan could sense the slight sarcasm but decided not to say anything. He would ask Jeongin about him going to Felix's house but knowing that mentioning Seungmin again might trigger I.N he decided to stay quiet about that.

"How did Hyunjin know you were here?" Chan said instead.

Jeongin blinked. Yeah, how did Hyunjin know? He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe Felix or someone told him? Before...they went to the station?"

"Maybe." And Chan's voice became lower, "You know Changbin'll probably have to serve some time."

"Yeah I know..." Jeongin whispered and he put his food tray on the night table so he could lie back down. "Why is my life like this," he mumbled into the pillow but Channie heard it. He also heard Innie starting to sniffle and knew that the fragile boy was crying again. He got up from his seat and came to Jeongin's side to hug him.

"See Jeongin, you are so strong," he said gently, "I'm sure God will bless you so much someday."

"Someday," Jeongin choked and his body quivered as he cried, his sweet time with Hyunjin temporarily forgotten.

Chan bent down and wrapped his arms around Jeongin, stroking and patting his head, gently whispering to him. His own tears were coming as he thought of the boy's miserable life. He hugged him tighter and rocked him like a child, "Innie-yah...when did you get so big? I can't even hug you anymore..."