Hard to love (ChaeSoo Fanfiction)

Chapter 11 - Afterlife

Chaeyoung POV

Did I even make any progress? It hardly felt like it. The evening I spent with Lisa and Jennie was really fun, we drank wine, we talked, we laughed. And after that? Nothing. The only thing that really changed afterwards was the state of my apartment, since I was able to maintain the relatively tidy state of it for the most part. But about my habits, basically nothing changed. I woke up around noon, took a shower, and watched TV until I would fall asleep on the couch. Occasionally, I would order some food, which was basically my only human interaction during these days. Jennie and Lisa were occupied with their own schedules, so of course they couldn't come over every day to keep me company, those days were over. We moved past this phase. Well, they did.

Me? I was lying in my bed, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and it reminded me of how long it has been since I posted something on my own social media channels. Maybe I should? But then again, what was the point? Instagram and co. were just places where people would either show off how fucking happy they were, or where they pretended to be fucking happy. I certainly wasn't happy, and I wasn't strong enough to pretend I was. For whom? Jisoo was busy with her own happy relationship, she didn't have eyes for me anymore. Scratch that, she didn't even have an eyelash left for me. And just in that moment, almost as if my constant thinking of Jisoo summoned her, her face popped up on my Instagram feed.

Sooyaaa_

"Thank you @Kim_Ji_Hyun_:P for this beautiful necklace. I love it almost as much as I love you <3"

The first picture was a selfie of Jisoo, wearing said necklace. And as much as I hated to admit it, it was a beautiful necklace. The gold chain went really well Jisoo's raven black hair, and the ruby on the pendant had the exact same colour as Jisoo's lipstick. When I swiped on, I was greeted with the next picture: Ji-Hyun, pressing a gentle kiss onto those alluring, red, inviting lips of Jisoo. Those very same lips I used to kiss with all my love, and who now belonged to somebody else.

"Fuck... I can't do this shit anymore..." I mumbled to myself and lifted my tired body off of the couch. I knew that I needed to do something, anything, but before that, I needed to fix myself. The first step was a hot shower, which was always relaxing. After taking care of my body, I walked over to my bedroom and opened my wardrobe. Since I wore nothing but hoodies and sweatpants over the past couple of weeks, I had the luxurious problem of all my fancy clothes being clean and ready to wear. How was I supposed to decide an outfit? Should I call Jennie and Lisa?

No, you're a grown up woman, at least you can do so much as picking your own clothes.

Right, I was miserable, but I wasn't that much of wreck that I couldn't choose some damn clothes. First, I went with a pair of black lace underwear. I didn't really expect anything to happen, but it made me feel sexy, it made me feel confident. But, what to wear on top of it? A skirt? A dress? No, my heart told me to go with pants. And my brain had a very specific pair of pants in mind. Tight fitting, black jeans. Perfect. What next? A blouse. Black? Come on Chae, you're not going to a funeral. Okay, white it would be. I checked my appearance in the mirror. Did I look good?

No, you look fucking awesome.

My brows furrowed. Would people be able to see my bra? The material of the blouse was rather thick, and I was going to were a jacket anyway, so I should be fine. I liked my outfit, and I didn't want to change it now because of something like that. All that was missing now were the finishing touches, some light makeup and some peach scented perfume. Perfect.

Yeah, I was looking good. And I felt good, too. Well, I felt better. Far from good, but I liked what I saw in the mirror, and that's what mattered.

Okay, time to get laid~

"Shut up..."

Calling for an Uber, I sat down in the living room and waited for the message that my driver was waiting outside. And lucky me didn't have to wait long, being rich came with benefits. When a person from this apartment complex would call for an Uber, the drivers knew that the people they would drive around had money like some people had dirt under their shoes. And since nobody would want to miss out on a good tip, drivers were usually very engaged to not make their customers wait.

Grabbing my bag, I made my way downstairs and when I sat down in the backseat, a young, handsome looking man smiled at me over his shoulder.

"Good evening Ma'am. Where may I drive you today?"