Ghost

Confessions

"Wei Ying, is that you?"

"Oh, Lan Zhan, thank the universe. You can finally hear me." Wei Ying sobs.

Lan Zhan is shaken to his core. "Are you real, or am I dreaming? " Why can't I see you? "Where are you?"

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, I can only sense you, and I can't see you either. I don't know where I am. I don't even know if I'm dead or alive. I feel like something or someone is holding me back.

Lan Zhan's heart is breaking hearing this, but still unsure if it is genuinely Wei Ying or just a trick. "Is this Wei Ying?"

Sensing this, Wei Ying plays Wangxian on his flute—a song known only to the two of them. Lan Zhan is lost; he doesn't know what to think or do. He begins to cry and shake uncontrollably. His heart is beating fast, and his mind is in a whirlwind. He can't stop his feelings of loss and grief. His crying is like a flood that can't be stopped.

"Please, Lan Zhan, please don't cry anymore. I'm so sorry for the pain I've put you through. I'm sorry for leaving you and telling you to go away in the Burial Mound. You were right when you told me the Stygian Amulet would change me. I thought I was strong enough to control it. I wasn't. Because of that, I didn't hear anything you said; I only knew I didn't want you around me. Deep down, I didn't want to ruin your reputation, and I didn't want them to kill or hurt you. I didn't think I was worthy of you, so I wanted you to disappear."

Still sobbing, Lan Zhan said, "Why did you never realize I would do anything to protect and save you? I even told you I loved you, yet you still told me to go away and leave you alone. You broke my heart, Wei Ying."

Now it's Wei Ying's turn to cry: "I didn't know at that time you loved me, and until now, I never realized how much I love and miss you."

Lan Zhan said, "From the moment you entered my life at the Cloud Recess gates, I knew I couldn't imagine a life without you. You were like a chisel constantly hammering away at all that I was and all that I thought I knew."

Wei Ying giggles at this and says, "When I first saw you, you looked like an angel sent from the heavens. I knew I had met my equal when we fought on the rooftop. Initially, I aimed to annoy you because you looked so cold and aloof. You became my challenge to see how many rules I could get you to break. But eventually, It became much more. I needed to see you, to talk to you, to be around you all the time. It was a need that became an addiction. I didn't understand it, but I couldn't stop. In the end, I didn't want to stop it."

"At first, you did annoy me so much. I was so angry at you for bringing emotions and feelings I'd never felt before, and I didn't know how to deal with them. Then, without me knowing or understanding why, I couldn't face a day without seeing or talking to you. I needed you like the air I breathe. I couldn't understand it, and it scared me."

Wei Ying giggled softly. "We were so blind and too young to understand what was happening between us. We were falling in love with each other, but we couldn't put it into words. For myself, I never considered falling in love with another man. But now, as I look back at my younger self, I see lots of flirting with girls, but I never thought of loving or marrying any of them. I never wanted their attention or affection like I wanted yours. God, why did I never understand this."

Lan Zhan says, "To be fair, I was happy I was second born. I never thought of having to lead my clan or thought of being with someone. I certainly never wanted to marry anyone. It was a distasteful thought. But now with you (sighs), your silver sparkling eyes, smile that rivals the sun, giggles, and beautiful pink lips. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I realized I never wanted to be separated from you. I was scared. A man loving another man was such a thing that was even possible. I thought about my clan; my uncle and brother would not accept it. I also thought you would reject me because you always talked about pretty girls."