Dirty Air (Lando Norris)

Chapter 9: Lando

STILL IN MADRID

I met Olivia in Monaco during the summer break. I was nursing a broken heart after I found out Selene was engaged to that Norwegian guy. I don't consider her as a rebound because Selene and I were never in an official relationship. I was just the stupid one who fell in love even when it was clear I shouldn't have.

Olivia came at the right time when I was ready to move on.

Unlike Selene, who saw love as complex, for me it's simple. You don't get to choose who you love and when you fall in love. It just happens.

If I had not met Olivia, I was ready to lose everything I treasured in my life starting with racing because I couldn't function at all.

My reflection was interrupted when Caco called me back to our table. The boys, Rupert, Carlos, Carlos sr, Caco were waiting for me to have a few drinks and and to talk about golf. Olivia joined the ladies at the party.

I couldn't resist scanning the room for Selene and I couldn't find her. She must have left.

Before heading to our table, I made a quick detour to the toilet. And just as I was about to open the door, she came out—Selene.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She said and before she can look up to see me, I pushed her back inside.

I was surprised to see her eyes red and swollen. She was definitely crying. She looked away as if looking away will make her invisible to me.

I was ready with what I wanted to ask her but the moment I looked into her eyes, all my questions from 8 months ago disappeared. It was replaced by genuine concern.

"Are you okay?"

Her body shook with sobs. Her hair covered her face as she bent her head with the purpose of hiding it from me.

"Selene...are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I need to go."

She walked towards the door and I stood in front of it.

"At least tell me why you're crying"

"I'm not crying. I had something in my eye."

"Bullshit."

She looked up at me again. Fuck those eyes. They never lie. Her eyes were red and puffy but deeper—they were sad.

Her pain was obvious to the point that I felt it deep within my chest as if it were my own.

I realized I may be the reason for that pain. It's hard  to miss the hurt she tried to hide. I wanted to talk to her but her eyes were begging me to let her go.

"Lando, please." She whispered, which was uncharacteristic of Selene.

"Fine" I raised both my hands up in surrender as she walked out the door.

***
After the party, Olivia and I went straight to the airport to board our private jet to Hungary. Even if Carlos offered, I couldn't ride with him and Victoria in their private jet because it would have been awkward with Olivia knowing Victoria is Selene's sister.

While on the plane, I couldn't let go of the image Selene's face when she looked at me. Aside from the puffy eyes from crying, she looked like she wanted tell me something when she saw me.

I had to shake off all the what ifs. I needed to forget about Selene. I needed to do it to give my relationship with Olivia a chance.

The last 8 months were not a joke. We did not have closure so it was difficult to get over her.
I had to pretend that I was okay even if I wasn't. I had to bury the pain and try to be functional, be mechanical even during races. I performed poorly each weekend because I could not focus.

Coming from the guy who has been rock bottom for almost a year, I could say I'm better now. I have forgiven Selene for breaking my heart. I guess sometimes you had to go through heartbreak to realize someone better will come along.

"Love, are you okay?" i heard Olivia ask

"Yes, why?"

"You zoned out. Is something wrong?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking about the race this weekend" I lied.

"Okay. I'll go take a nap." She leans in to kiss me.

"All right." I smack her ass and she laughed.

***

HUNGARORING, HUNGARY

This was the last race before the summer break. I was really excited because it's the first race that I felt like I can be 100%. I have Olivia to thank for that. She made me forget about Selene at least for the past month.

Hungary was not the easiest track to race in because one of the high speed corners that doesn't always suit the car.

I was preparing for qualifying and something really doesn't fit well with the break balance during free practice.

"I felt like the rear goes whenever I turn hard and that's going to be a problem with this track." i told my engineer, Will, on the radio.

"Okay, they're working on it. Just don't go flat out if you're not confident with the balance" Will said

"Yeah, that's what I was planning to do mate" I said before I hopped in the car.

Things were running smoothly for Q1. I wasn't performing well in Q2 that's why I felt the pressure to push the car further and that's when the problem happened.

I crashed.

At first I thought it wasn't a bad crash when my rear snapped into turn 1 and I spun to hit another car into the barriers. I had no recollection of what happened after the impact until I woke up 2 days later in the hospital. It turned out, I was comatose for two days. Talk about shit hitting the fan. My body hurts, I think I broke or fractured a few bones.  The impact was strong. It was 56G.

The doctor told me I suffered a concussion and it might take a few days before I fully regain my wits. I also broke my left knee.

Olivia was in the hospital when I woke up, so were my mum, my dad and my older brother Oliver.

It wasn't really how I expected the weekend to be but here we are. My dad has decided to fly me to the UK so that they can take better care of me. I have to brace myself for that, my body was really smashed.