Chapter 11: Lando

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ONE MONTH LATER
LONDON, United Kingdom

I had to go through rehab after the accident. I was not back in the car until the last three races. For the winter break, I had to spend it in the UK for more rehab. But more than the pain of the injury and not being able to race, I couldn't get the image of Selene when she saw me at the hospital off my head.

She loved me. She fucking loved me and she told me just when I was falling for Olivia and she was set to marry someone else.

What a fucking disaster.

If only she was able to realise it after I told her I love her, then things would have been different. But that day at home in Monaco was a disaster. After she heard me say those three dreadful words, she looked like she wanted to stuff them back in.

She did not say it back. I was disappointed, but not surprised. I knew she loved me, but I wanted to hear it. The more I pushed her, the farther she ran away from me until she completely left.

Fuck. Why was I dwelling on this? She's getting married and I am with someone.

***

Olivia and I had more frequent fights when we arrived in the UK because I was just angry and frustrated. I wanted to get back in shape but my body won't cooperate. It didn't take long before we had to go through the difficult decision of breaking-up. I also couldn't put it upon her to stay with me as i get my act together.

"I can't do this anymore, Liv. I just can't" I confessed.

"You still love her, I feel it Lando. You deny it but I see it in your eyes" she said with her voice close to cracking.

"Liv, I..." she gently pressed her forefinger on my lips.

"Save it, please. I don't want this to be difficult for us. " she shook her head and tried to look into my eyesz "I love you, Lando. But my love is not enough" Olivia said as she held my hand near her face.

"I love you, Liv. Please don't do this." I shook my head trying to grapple with the thought of not having Olivia in my life. I do love her but maybe she's right, my love for her is not the same way I loved or love Selene.

"I know. But I also know you love her more. It's okay. I know you will never walk away from me, so I'll do it  for us."

Olivia stood up and gave me a deep kiss. She walked out the room and that was it. It was goodbye.

***
TWO WEEKS LATER
STILL IN LONDON

Carlos and Rupert finally managed to visit me during the one week break between races. I do miss racing.

"So you come back September or October?" Carlos asked while trying to fix his golf clubs

"October if the bones heal properly" I responded with a sigh.

"Phew! Can't you get Lance's doctor? He did a miracle with him. Anyway, at least you get to go back. Selene was worried..." he paused, well aware that he said something he shouldn't have.

"Selene?" I probed after noticing the shock in Carlos' eyes.

"So when can you start training?" Rupert asked trying to help Carlos out of the situation

"September. Wait, Carlos you said Selene was worried? Why?She's getting married this month right?"

Carlos was quiet but really restless.

"Okay, Victoria and Selene will kill me. " he finally cracked. "There's no wedding happening. They broke off the engagement two weeks after they announced it but they kept it quiet to avoid scandal. You know these people."

"What?" my heart burst upon hearing the news. "Mate! What did you just say? She was single all this time?" I tried to stand up to hit Carlos in the head for keeping something so important from me.

"You knew how it broke me mate. I loved her so much"

"I'm sorry mate, I couldn't tell you. It's not for me to say" Carlos said in his most apologetic tone.

"Mate, that was before Silverstone, before everything. You knew what was going on with me at Silverstone. I was devastated."

"Sorry, mate"

"Fuck." I stood up clenching my fists. " i need to talk to her, Carlos."

"Tranquilla, mate. Selene is in New York."

"Can Victoria help me, please."

"Ask her. For sure she would." Carlos said reassuringly.

I covered my face with both my hands. I was struggling to process the information that Selene cancelled her engagement. She was single when I saw her at the party. I might have been the reason she was crying in the toilet. She was single when she confessed she loved me after the accident. She loved me and yet she did not say a word to fight for me.

***

"Of all people, I would know how hard it is to fall in love with a Latsis. You have to be patient, Lando." Carlos said and he was correct. After all, his love story with Victoria was not an easy one. They had to go through hell and back with Victoria (and Selene's) father.

"Mate, the difference is Victoria fought for you. Selene gave up on us before anything even started."

"Then fight for both of you. vamos! Lando!" As he tried to tap his shoulders to encourage him.

 vamos! Lando!" As he tried to tap his shoulders to encourage him

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"I don't know if I can risk getting shattered again. Selene can be cold hearted at times." I shook my head again.

"I don't know. There's just so many things going wrong in my life. My injury, my future with McLaren... "

"Come on, Lando. Since when was risk an issue? You always go flat out. " Carlos crossed his arms and looking at me in disbelief.

I just played with my phone and tried not to answer him.

"I don't know."

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