25.12.2017
Dear Erling,
Sorry I missed a year. I've been unwell, unwell for a while actually, since 2015. Your mamma and pappa know, but if you ever find out, I don't want you to blame them for keeping it from you, I made them promise not to tell you. Gabbie and Astor too. Astor's been the biggest help, it feels good to have someone to talk to who'll just listen. He's almost as good at it as you were. I never want you to find out and just take pity on me
I miss you A LOT Erling but I know we've out grown each other but I write these letters incase we never see each other again. I guess I just want you to know I'm not upset or angry at you. Although I doubt you actually still think about me. I think I've just stayed under the impression you'll come back into my life.
You've missed a lot in my life, I'm a big sister now, isn't that crazy? Me, a sister? It doesn't sound right at all. He cries a lot, just like me though! But he is my little bestie and I can't get over how small and tiny he is. I love him so much, I cry at the thought that my time with him could be limited and he'll grow up and not even have any memories of me.
This will probably be my last letter to you, I wrote a letter in this scrap book every Christmas because I was alone, I used these letters as a way to distract myself from that loneliness but now I have Gio and also, I think it's about time I move on from our friendship too, like you had in 2014. Just in case I never get to say it out loud or to you, I love you, E.
Sincerly,
Amelia Tiatto xx
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hard feelings - an erling haaland story
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