hard feelings - an erling haaland story

forty-two

Erling watched as his teammates approached him, the words they spoke merging into one loud noise, none of it quite making sense. Her name and his teammate's seeming to be the only thing that rang clear. It had sparked his interest but Erling knew better than anyone that curiousity killed the cat. A polite nod of his head and a shrug would surely suffice as a response to the chaos of noise emitting from his teammates; he did just that. Or so, Erling had thought.

"Ya alright, fellas?" The familiar voice almost seemed to echo causing the others to turn their head to face him. Jack felt their intense gaze, finding comfort in the confusion sprawled across Erling's face. "Close ya gobs lads, you'll catch flies."

Phil spoke up. "Millie is gonna be raging at you."

"Nah, 'coz what did I actually do, lads? There's nothin' for her to be mad about."

"I'm not goin to anger Mils more so let's talk about this somewhere else."

Erling watched on, feeling even more lost than he previously had done, scanning the remaining faces around him trying to clasp together the pieces that they had placed for him. It wasn't often that Erling found himself searching for the missing puzzle pieces but he found his ears perking up at the mere mention of her name. A situation he found himself in frequently. Too frequent in fact, he often spent most of his waking hours thinking about her, wondering whether to reach out to her and ask her how she was doing but boundaries were in place and it had been months since their interaction at their game against Chelsea. That was last season and he was now months into his second season.

"What's going on?"

"It's not our place to say, Erling." Kevin spoke up. "I do not think it was Jack's place to share either."

Erling hesitated, fighting his opposing thoughts, the side he knew would elicit a reaction from his remaining teammates won. "Anything to do with Amelia is my concern."

A silence filled the changing room, one that was uncomfortable for everyone there. No one dared utter a word to remind him that Amelia was no longer his concern, nor had she been for over 6 months, their breakup occuring months prior to that. "Erl, she stopped being your concern when she broke up with you." Erling's eyes scanned quickly around the room, landing on John, who already had his his arms held up.

"She is my concern and she always will be." He let out a sigh, unsure whether to continue with what he was about to say. "I cannot stop thinking about her, it is like she plagues my waking moments and when I dream, she is there."

"If that's how it is, mate, then you shouldn't be with Aria."

It was in moments like these that Amelia found herself begging for a patient to be no show, despite knowing she, in that moment, was working and seeing her usual patients; with her phone constantly buzzing in her tunic pocket, she thought she may grab it and entertain the urge to spend her very little free time in between each appointment to see what was going on in the world outside her tiny clinical room in the middle of Ancoats.

A quick glance at the clock showed that she would soon gain sweet relief of finding out what the fuss was about but for now, she had to be faced with yet another patient. A small knock on her door dragged her out of her thoughts, a signal that someone had arrived. Much to her dismay.

A kind looking man, Neil, the first patient she had seen after starting in the community, hesitated before entering the room, scanning her up and down. "Sorry, never known when to say it and I don't know if this is appropriate either but you look like the missus of a footy player."

Her heart sank at the words, her mind wandering back to the events that took place outside that very clinic nearly eleven months ago. Although Amelia wouldn't admit it to anyone, with the exception of Chloe, and Jack, at a push, that she often spent most of her waking moments regretting pushing him away when she did. Erling Haaland was simply not someone she could avoid and how she wished he was.

She let out a small laugh, her attempt to lighten her own mood. "I get that a lot."

"Do you, now? It's uncanny actually." He laughed. "It's not you, is it?"

"Oh no, those football players wouldn't give someone like me a second glance."

Neil sat down, looking at the woman who attempted to look cheery in front of him. "They'd be the lucky ones to have someone as kind and as caring as you to even glance in their direction."

"Stop it, Neil, you'll make me cry."

And, it was moments like that, that reminded Amelia why she had been so drawn to her career. It made her feelings about her actions so small; that her life was more than silly boys and her emotions. She was someone's care provider, she helped ensure that her patients had the best quality of life they could have.

Yet, for some reason, it felt insignificant, Amelia knew she was someone other than Erling Haaland, but she wasn't willing to accept it. She didn't want to just be Amelia again. It had been hard for her to accept the loss of Erling in her teen years and somehow, it felt even more difficult now. Amelia had assumed that she had processed all her emotions and thoughts regarding Erling, yet here she was, nearly a year on, fighting those very same emotions.

Amelia missed Erling Haaland and she could no longer deny it.

As Neil closed the door behind him, she found herself reaching for her phone, finding it bombared with calls and messages. Panic filled her mind, what if it had been an emergency? What if something had happened and she ignored it due to being lost in her own thoughts? Her fingers raked through her hair, as her other hand hovered above her screen, unsure on who to call first, but with no missed calls from her parents, she knew her only option would be to call Chloe.

"Girl, how are you feeling? I can't believe he did that. I'm sure it wasn't on purpose but still." Chloe had answered before the first ring could even be heard. "Has Erling seen it? Do you know?"

"Chlo, what the fuck are you on about?"

"Your convo with Jack? The one you had with him this morning, you know, the one about Erling?"

It wasn't uncommon for Amelia to become confused after conversing with Chloe, especially in moments when Amelia would turn to her friend for clarity. "What about it? How did you even find out about that?"

"It's all everyones been talkin' about, love. He might as well have just told Erling you're still in love with him rather than announce it on his insta."

Amelia could feel her heart sink. Praying, no, begging, that she didn't hear Chloe correctly and Jack had not shared how she still felt about Erling, something she had recently processed and teetered between, with the world. She had decided that ignorance was bliss and she would rather not know what was said. It was in the past after all.

For just this moment, in the four walls that encased her and in her mind, no one else knew that Amelia Tiatto was still in love with Erling Haaland.