hard feelings - an erling haaland story

thirty-four

Erling stretched, feeling the space next to him empty, a frown engulfing his face. She usually slept longer than him, meaning he must've overslept. He never allowed himself the luxury of sleeping in so late, especially not when there was a match the following day. Leeds United away. Christmas had shaken him out of the pre-match day routine he had started and he knew he had very little time to get back into that mindset. However, he wanted to leave that until a later time in the day, as Amelia walked in from her bathroom, a used T-shirt wrapped around her hair. A top that he recognised and had been looking for. Erling made a mental note to bring that up later with her.

"Morning, amore mio. How did you sleep?"

"Horrible, I had a dream that you didn't wait for me to wake up so I woke up to an empty bed." He teased. "However, the view makes up for it. Turn around."

"No, you pervert." She shook the soaked t-shirt from her head and throwing it at him. He groaned at her words. "Jack's been waiting for me in the lobby for ages, I'm runnin' late."

Erling's ears perked at his teammate's name, not aware of her plans to even see him, let alone the lack of an invite. He knew that the pair would get together and discuss what he had done. A wave of insecurity him at the thought. Despite knowing that neither Jack or Amelia would truly hold it against him for his rash behaviour, he didn't want his dirty laundry being aired out in that manner. He watched her every move, not saying anything. Usually he would be watching her, mesmerised by her routine, but in that moment, he couldn't help but imagine all the things that would be said about him behind his back. If there was one thing that could be described as Erling's weakness, it would be his insecurity about his relationship with Amelia.

"They're right, Mils, you're so patient with him." Jack shook his head. "As the third person in the relationship, you let our boyfriend get away with too much."

Amelia responded with nothing but a sigh, acknowledging the truth that had hit her. She did let Erling get away with a lot and, despite his little blips, he truly was the best person she had dated. She knew she couldn't place blame on him, it was his first adult relationship. They always went awfully, or that was what she tried to convince herself. "I love him, Jack, think I always have. That's the problem. It'll get easier."

"Now I'm not exactly the mate yous would go to for advice but you can't be saying that it'll get easier, Mil. Not fair on ya, really, is it?" The silence between the two friends was overpowering, Amelia basking in the truth that Jack had spoken. He wasn't one to pick sides between the pair, often opting to stay silent when Erling asked for advice regarding her. "Have you ever thought the fact that even though he's an amazing mate, he's a shit boyfriend?"

"He's not a shit boyfriend, I just don't think he knows how to behave in a relationship. He still sees us as these childhood friends who argue over the tiniest things and it'll be okay. We just need to communicate a bit better."

Jack held his friend's hand in his, giving it a reassuring rub. "Whatever you do, Mil, I'll support ya 'cos I love ya. But I'll talk to him, if not I'll knock some sense into him."

She laughed off Jack's idle threat, knowing it wouldn't come into fruition. Although a part of her had hoped that the conversation would occur between the two friends, knowing she wasn't ready to confront the thought she had pushed to the back of her mind. It would be a lie to say it hadn't been nagging at her for a while, with the events of Christmas dragging it forward, but she truly felt happy with Erling. There wasn't a moment where she wasn't thinking about him, nor could she imagine a future without him, yet Jack's words replayed in her head like a broken record. She desperately wanted to mute the sound of his Brummy accent, to stop hearing the words doubting her relationship with her boyfriend, her best friend, her E. Erling was an amazing boyfriend but an even better friend; he just let his emotions take over his rationality. Amelia reminded herself that he was human, he wasn't something she imagined or created, he was a real human being with flaws and free will.

She wondered about how she would've reacted if it had been the other way around, if it had been him that had kept something so serious from her, would she have reacted in a similar manner? Would she have cursed the world and everyone involved? Of course she would've. She would've gotten a lot angrier than he had. She didn't fault his annoyance and anger but a small part of her hated that he had blamed his siblings for simply protecting him. Maybe if she had allowed his family to tell him everything would be the same. He barely acknowledged her existence after the Tiatto's abrupt departure, why would Erling have cared about her situation? She remembered all her attempts at reaching out to him after his deafening silence in hopes of rekindling their friendship, only to be met with silence. Amelia knew one thing in that moment, and it was that she wouldn't do anything different if she could turn back time. Erling wasn't entitled to know her business, they weren't friends, at that point in time, but mere strangers who shared a similar circle of people.

Erling found himself shifting awkwardly in his seat on the team coach, he felt watched and judged by his teammate from Birmingham, who sat opposite him in silence; something that was out of character for Jack. The blond man brushed it off as his friend needing to get back into the match mindset after a boozy holiday with his family. Erling gave him a small wave, an action he knew he would overthink for the rest of the evening. 

"Ya alright, mate? Ya staring at me." Jack questioned, his eyebrow raising as he spoke. Erling wasn't much of an observant person when it came to people other than Amelia but he couldn't help but scan every inch of Jack's face. Anything to read him, or to find a glimpse of distaste at him. Yet he failed, Jack smiled at him with the familiar dopey expression that Erling saw frequently.

"Yeah, bro. Sorry, I must have gotten lost in my thoughts."

Jack nodded his head, a small chuckle escaping his lips. "'bout  our Melia? She mentioned you had a tiff the other day. Glad youse sorted it to be fair."

His words hit Erling's ears like a lorry, of course Amelia mentioned their argument to Jack. After Chloe and himself, Amelia had found herself developing a close bond with the Brummy. If there was one thing to know about Amelia, it was that she was the worst at keeping secrets. If there is someone she loves and trusts nearby, they will know every aspect of her life. Once again, a trait that Erling refused to change about her. Her openess meant their communication within the relationship was efficient enough to be able to trust each other, especially on occassions when they would be apart for weeks on end. 

Erling never really saw himself as an insecure person but as he remembered the intimacy that occurred between Jack and Amelia before their relationship, he couldn't help but overthink every single interaction between his teammate and his girlfriend. Sure, he trusted her but could he trust Jack? The answer to that was unknown. He spent the entire journey to Elland Road with images of Jack and Amelia. His mind looping every touch, every hug, every look. He remembered how she looked wearing his football shirt on her birthday, despite being Erling's guest. She had looked so good that day and despite knowing that Amelia was already crushing on him at that point, he couldn't help but feel jealousy at the thought of it. Her words and her confession to him when she finally admitted that she had slept with his teammate repeated like a stuck record.

The tall blond was an impulsive person and as he found his veins pulsing from jealousy, he knew he had to make Amelia feel the emotions he felt.