hard feelings - an erling haaland story

thirty-five

It wasn't difficult for Erling to catch people's attention. He was a six foot five tall man, he wasn't exactly difficult to miss. To top things off, his current performance in his new league made him the talk of the town. Unwarranted attention from women other than his girlfriend followed him around. He watched intently as the two friends laughed together, her head leaning on his shoulder. With his lips pursed, he huffed at the sight of their closeness.

With the feeling that someone was staring at him, he glanced over in the direction, his eyes meeting with a green-eyed redhead, a small smile on her face. She looked friendly enough that he felt comfortable approaching her. The woman was someone different enough from his girlfriend to gain Amelia's attention.

Gathering what remained of his confidence, he began to approach her, a smile on his face. "What's a lovely woman like you do-" He began to speak, only to be cut off by his girlfriend, a grin on her face.

"Good try, E. Maybe if you're going to try and make me jealous, you shouldn't try chatting up one of my flatmates from uni. Erling, this is my friend, Aoife."

Erling felt himself redden at her words, of course it would be his luck that the redhead in front of him was known by his girlfriend. The woman shot a small, apologetic smile at him. "I like women too. Sorry." He wasn't usually the type to approach women, or so he thought until that moment. Now it was set in stone that he was better at his job than reading and understanding women, who wasn't Amelia. He often wondered if that was why he had been so drawn to her, she was someone who understood his accomodations and needs. He knew that his thoughts about wanting her to feel the same jealousy as he did was irrational and he knew it was something that he would need to work on.

She pat the seat by her side, gesturing to him that she wanted him to sit by her, her two friends glancing over at him before excusing themselves, Jack giving him a small pat on the back. The gesture from Jack was enough to worry him about what Amelia would want to converse with him alone about. The smile on her face was warm and reassuring and the worry he felt slowly melted away, as he saw her pupils expand as he caught himself in the reflection of her eyes. "Hi kjæreste, is everything okay?"

"E, I've got a question." Amelia sighed. "Do I not make you feel loved and appreciated? Is that why you get jealous of Jack and I?" A flash of hurt appeared on her face, her eyebrows furrowed. "Don't even bother trying to say you don't. I know you, Erling, I see you tense up at the tiniest touch. I can read you like a book. I try my hardest to reassure you, to show you that everything I do is in your best interest. What am I doing wrong?"

Hearing her words made his heart halt, he held his breath, afraid that any movement would release the emotions that were threatening to spill out. The raw emotion from her, in such a public space, made guilt course through his veins, almost as if every blood cell was replaced by the emotion. A sight that he was used to, she was never frightened to share her vulnerability with him, yet, somehow, it felt heightened in such a space. "Mia, it is not you. I feel under qualified to be with you. It feels like you have lived so many lives in comparison to me. I don't understand why you choose to be with me."

"God, Erling. Do you have long-term memory loss? Are you blind? I spent most of our teen years absolutely infatuated with you. I lived many lives with you and less without you. In those years we were apart, it took me forever to find someone to share all the bizarre dreams with and someone to make strange yet funny memories with. I also spent months on end mourning the loss of my best friend." She paused for a second, taking a deep breath in. "I try to live as many lives as I possibly can because...well, you know."

Erling felt a pang in his chest, instant regret of all his actions and doubts filling him. He knew her well enough to doubt how she felt but yet a part of him couldn't shake off the nagging thoughts. He knew Amelia loved him, she did everything right. He just felt undeserving of it. He couldn't provide her the same life experiences Jack or someone else could. Amelia was simply, in his eyes, too good for him. Unattainable to him. She shone brighter than a solar eclipse, she loved and cared for people in a way that couldn't be described.

"I feel like you are too good for me, Mia. No matter what I do or will do, you are so far in front of me. I feel like I will never catch up. Maybe someone else will be better for you, someone who is up to your pace." He found himself mumbling, every fibre of his being screaming at him to stay silent. He didn't want her with anyone else, he didn't even want to think about it.

"Erling, are you stupid? Are you saying if this was a game of football and you were a goal down, you'd just give up?" Amelia let out a scoff. "Don't bloody think you would, you daft prick. If you're trying to break up with me, it's not happening."

A laugh escaped his lips at her response, she was always able to call his bluff. A skill that his entire family always found themselves in awe of, something only she had mastered. He watched as her face softened and her body relaxed, her laughter echoing his. "You dick! You scared me."

"I'm sorry, Mia. I just can't fathom why you are dating me."

She let out a small shrug, her eyes wrinkling as a smile made itself comfortable on her face. "The bank account." He frowned at her answer, a laugh, no a cackle, errupting from her pursed lips. "I'm joking, amore mio. I'm with you 'cause I'm literally obsessed with you."