hard feelings - an erling haaland story

thirty-eight

Amelia's stubbornness always won, despite every logical solution, she was always too stubborn to listen. As Erling argued out every single solution to her concern, her brain seemed to form a blockade that made his words bounce out. She couldn't be his first proper relationship, she didn't want to be. No one's first relationship ever worked out, she couldn't allow herself to get hurt because he wasn't actually ready for a proper relationship. He was Erling Haaland, a huge name in football, he was young, why would be want to be tied into a long-term relationship when he had plenty of opportunities with much more successful women?

With a swift motion of her feet, she pushed herself up, closing the gap between them. Her eyes now gazing into his. They were bright, bright enough she could see her own reflection in his eyes. It almost pained her to be so stubborn but she couldn't bring it upon herself to allow him to miss out on the full footballer experience. She needed him to live his youth, ignoring the fact she was not much younger than himself. Amelia knew that no one would ever be Erling but so did the rest of the world who knew of him.

In a soft whisper, her hand upon his cheek, she spoke. "I'm so sorry, Erling. You deserve nothing but the best."

Acting out of desperation, she diverted her gaze to a silver car behind him, moving as quickly as she possibly could so she wouldn't have to prolong the pain between themselves. His hand rushed to grab her wrist, an attempt to keep her close to him for as long as he could.

"If this is what you want then I will accept it, but Mia, tell me you do not love me first, kjæreste. So it is easier for me to accept the burden of this pain." He uttered. "Lie to me if you have to. I cannot let you leave without hearing those words. It would just keep me up at night knowing you left me here with all the love I have yet to experience from you. Tell me you hate me, that you can't stand the fact I left you alone for all those years."

There was a pause between them, Amelia held her breath, as Erling slowly pulled her back into his chest. His hands stroking her hair, careful not to mess up the ponytail she had present. This time, it was his voice that whispered. "I can't let you walk away, knowing you will hurt from this. Lie to me and lie to yourself, it will be easier for the both of us. I carry and hold so much love for you. They say that if you unravel every DNA strand in the human body, it would stretch for 34 billion miles but those miles would just be a tiny fraction of all my love for you. It is unquantifiable. So, you are going to lie to me, you are going to lie to yourself and everyone and you are going to say you hate me. You simply could not get over the idea that whilst you were so unwell, I was living my life without a single thought about how you were."

"We'll both be okay, won't we?" She asked, her head still hidden in his chest.

Erling didn't reply, scared that if he did the lie he would spout wouldn't be convincing enough to convince her that everything would be alright. He knew he wouldn't be okay but he didn't want her knowing that. He swallowed the lump forming at his throat, his hand guiding her head up so he could observe her in all her beauty and how she was. "Of course we will. It's me and you, Mia. We will always be okay, no matter the path we take in life."

With every word he spoke, the more pained he began to feel but he knew that despite the hurt he felt, it would do him no harm. He knew that they would always find their way back to each other. He would beg the universe if he had to. One thing was important to him: Amelia's happiness. Even if it meant the cost of his own.

Her eyebrows furrowed into a frown, her mouth dropping slightly to say words that didn't want to come out. It felt like hours had passed before she finally got the courage she needed. "I can't lie to you, E. I love you and you know that. You know I always have, even before we knew what it was."

The earth stood still for a while for the both of them. The weather disguising the tears that fell down their faces. She wanted to leave, to hide somewhere dry and warm. Leaving, however, meant leaving Erling's embrace; something she wasn't quite ready for, something she would miss due to her own stubbornness. It was warm and reminded her of home, reminded her of their childhood together. He would shelter her from the world like he had been put on earth to protect her. Their families joked that it was engrained in his being to be her protector, and a small part of her believed it. Amelia knew she was lucky to have such a strong bond with someone, yet she questioned whether the bond was destined to be platonic or romantic.

As the rain began to fall heavier and harder, making it much harder for them to ignore, Amelia began to accept that she would have to say goodbye to Erling. The droplets pounding against their skin like a drum. "I can drop you off back to the grounds, if you would like? I don't want you walking in this weather and getting yourself ill."

"I would like that."

Anything to prolong their time together.

The drive was silent, Erling's hand on her knee as she drove and despite the discomfort from the warmth of his touch mixing with the cold, wet fabric, she didn't complain. She just let him. He spent every second observing her face, noting down every inch of her skin, afraid he would one day forget what it was like in person, his mind used to seeing her in pictures only.

"We're here." Hesitation was laced in her voice, even Erling could identify it. "I'll see you around, E."

"I love you, Amelia Tiatto." He spoke, he leant over, their eyes locking. As gently as he could, he placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'll go, and we will be okay."