ARandomShipper: I have a feeling that he's at Jelp's house again.
*distant screaming*
Darth_Firestar: Me too. I wonder why.
*At Jelp's house*
Joy: *rips Macaw's limbs off*
Everyone (except Macaw): *cheers like a football match*
Darth_Firestar: *looks over the side* Hey, Fartbringer's tryna sneak out the door!
Poppet: Not on my watch! *shoots paralysing dart* Now you stuck
Darth_Firestar: Yay! Tetherball with Fartbringer! Who wants to play? How about you, Mr. SADD agent?
Tanu: It sounds like fun, surely you'll join, sir.
Darth_Firestar: She won't even die, sir! *whispers* Actually she will.
Agent: What?
Darth_Firestar: *gasps in mock outrage* WHo SaiD thAt?!
Poppet: *produces rope* Hereee, Faithy Faithy Faithy!
Darth_Firestar: *with a creepy voice* We're not going to hurt you. *fake coughs* Yes we are. *gasps* Oh, I'm so sorry about that. I have a tickle in my throat.
Poppet: Yes, a tickle...that's all it is.
Darth_Firestar: *evil cackle*
Darth_Firestar: *digs around in box* I have the Mighty JMA Stick! Heeere nasty Fartbringer. And where's Macaw? GUYS, MACAW IS GETTING AWAY!
Jackson: I'VE GOT HIM DON'T WORRY *kicks sack of "potatoes"*
Sack of "potatoes": *unholy screech*
Darth_Firestar: ...Now kick it again.
Jackson: Nah, just give me the stick. I've got a sick attachment for it.
Jackson: A bayonet, I believe.
Jackson: Ok, just let me attach it... *pokes sack* Oh shit, he's bleeding. Eh, whatever, it's Macaw.
Darth_Firestar: YESSS MAKE HIM BLEED MOOREEEE
Jackson: YO, JOY, COME GET IN ON THIS!
Darth_Firestar: SHE ARMED TO THE TEETH! GET YE POPCORN
Jackson: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
SunnyIsStillSunny: I just happen to have a large assortment of Big stick™'s.
Darth_Firestar: Can we sharpen them?
SunnyIsStillSunny: Why, of course
Darth_Firestar: Excellent, I will take your pointiest specimen.
Poppet: Nah, the blunt ones create a slower, more painful death.
Darth_Firestar: Let's play "How many painful things can we shove into Macaw?"
Jackson: Let's shove a hornet's nest in there.
Darth_Firestar: Make it angry first and add a few Australian spiders.
RandomShipper: What about the bullet ants? We can't forget those
Faithbringer: *tries to untie herself*
RandomShipper: GUYS, I HEAR HELICOPTERS. *sees government agents in helicopters* TAKE MACAW AND FARTBRINGER AND LETS DITCH. WE CANT LET THEM TAKE THEM OUT OF CUSTODY.
Darth_Firestar: But we've got no vehicles left.
Poppet: Speak for yourself. *revs motorbike* Let's play "How many people can we fit on a motorbike?"
Darth_Firestar: Helmet?
Poppet: Are you serious? We're already on the run.
Darth_Firestar: You're right, what's one more law.
RandomShipper: Why not just hang Macaw in front of Joy, then attach a sled to Joy?
Darth_Firestar: Why the sled?
RandomShipper: I dunno. We could do something else, too.
*SADD agents land*
RandomShipper: Well, I guess we're fighting.
YOU ARE READING
WHAM BAM SHOVE A BULLET UP MACAW'S SNOUT | Vol. 2
Hayran KurguStory based off on comments assassinating Macaw in a comment chain the chapter "Failed Flirting" from JALGFY. Read story for more info.
