I miss you~Bri

2.6K 108 8
                                    

Listen to these songs in this order:
1.) I'm a mess- Ed Sheeran
2.) Shirtsleeves-Ed Sheeran
3.) Bloodstream- Ed Sheeran

Dear Luke,

It's only been 10 days since you left me, and I still miss you. My mom said it's okay to still miss you, but Calum said the faster I get over you the better while the bottle of vodka I'm holding says screw them that I need to be with you. Sorry if you can't read my writing since its smudged from all my tears. This is all I've been doing since you left me, left us -our family. I remember the day we got Nala at the shelter you said she looked just like me because we were both your kittens. Now your gone and I haven't seen Nala since the day you left when I ran out of the house to the bridge; I guess I forgot to close the door. It seems that our house is now just a broken home. It's just an empty shell of what we used to be.
Why didn't I help you? I saw all the signs, yet I was stupid enough to ignore them. My eyes hurt from all the crying just like my wrist. Was this what it felt like Lukey? When you left in the middle of the night to the bathroom... to use those sickly silver blades? I have to say, I do actually enjoy the feeling of them pressed against my skin, and watching them being painted with my blood just like you did. I just want to be with you Lukey! Why can't anyone see that! I bet you'd understand. You always understood. I've been going through the motions. I've been going through the memories of us. Life sucks without you being here with me.

I remember the day you left vividly though it all seemed black and white. We were having a lazy day because it was cold out and neither one of us wanted to go to work. I had a deep craving for cereal, and you laughed and kissed me repeating I love you over and over again until I finally said it back. For some reason your laugh was off; I now know why. I booped your nose asking you to get me some, but you said there was no milk. You hurriedly replied that you'd get some, and stood up off the couch releasing all the heat that was shared between us while we were cuddling leaving me forever alone and cold. As you walked out the door I noticed you were wearing the sweater I'd gotten you last Christmas; our first Christmas together I'd gotten one to match yours it was the most cheesiest gift ever, yet you still wore it. You said one last 'I love you' before walking out the door, but this time when you said it I felt something and the look in your eyes said words that I couldn't understand. Why hadn't I noticed it sooner?! I'm such a fuck up! I want to be with you and it hurts in my heart and my chest! You were always there for me Lukey, and I couldn't be there for you not even once. I'm such a horrible boyfriend.
Now I'm sitting in our bed in you favorite flannel. There's vodka and blood everywhere, and I can't help but feel alone. I didn't know id miss you this much. Ever since you left me for the icy cold waters under the Sydney Bridge I haven't been the same. You left me a note on you nightstand. I haven't had the courage to read it. There are a lot of pills in nightstand. I guess this was your alternative for the bridge. Fuck, I think I cut to deep. Maybe if I take the pills I'll finally be able to see you again. I want to and I need to see you again. I can't do this without you.

I guess this is it I've taken a few hand full's of your medication. What was it for anyway? Was it for your depression or something else? I can feel the chemicals burning in my bloodstream. I'm floating in and out of consciousness. Please forgive me for the things I've done. I never meant to hurt you. I can barely think straight. All the voices in my mind have stopped. I'm broken hearted waiting to see you again, so you can mend me back together like you always did.

I love to the moon and back.

I'll see you soon Lukey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(LUKE'S LETTER)

Fuck, I'm sorry Mikey. I love you. I love you so much. You'll never understand how much this hurts. This isn't your fault. If this is the last thing you see I want you to know that you were all I ever needed. You made me feel happy and loved.
I'm sorry.
I'll love you forever and always,
Luke

Guys I re-wrote this at like one in the morning because my sister is going to prom today, and I have to watch her boyfriend's little brothers that absolutely scare the shit out out me. Please pray for my life.
Sorry if this is absolute shit. I have had a test everyday this week because it's the last FULL week of school then next week I have school on Monday,Tuesday, and Wednesday. WOOH

AND PRETTY PLEASE COMMENT SUGGESTIONS FOR ONE SHOTS PLEASE.

Love you lots jelly tots
~Bri❤️

One Shots » mukeWhere stories live. Discover now