A Day in the Park✔

12

     Fallen leave crunched under Yeji's boots, her hands were shoved in the pockets of her coat.

   She stopped in front of the two stones she seemed to be visiting often.

    There was a dried up bouquet that she didn't remember being there before. Carefully she sat cross legged in front of them. Her hands clasped in her lap.

   "You know, I wanted to be old and gray before I came here under these circumstances," she said.

   "You were supposed to live a long happy life, Hyunjin. You should have married Felix, had another kid or two, maybe about an animal. This isn't how it was supposed to go. You were supposed to die because of old age or whatever, but not like that.

   Dammit, guys I am angry with both of you. It's been nearly 7 years and I am still so mad at you two. Your kids are turning fifteen. Hyunjin Hwang, you are selfish, you know, you should have fought harder, both of you should have,"

   She took a deep breath, "I've gone through all the stages of grief but I just keep coming back to anger. Is it even right for me to be angry? I mean it was your time to go I guess… but sometimes it is still so difficult.

   I want to do everything right by Selene and Sol, but I am scared. Sol he is always upfront with Ryu and I about how he feels and what he likes, but Selene… Selene, she is happy all the time. She always has a smile, she is always helping others, she never shows anything but happiness,"

  Yeji wiped her nose and bit her lip.

   "It sounds like a good thing, but it is scary. Because last time I knew someone like that, I lost her. I couldn't see the signs and in a blink of an eye she was gone. Now, that I know them, I can't help but see them when I see Selene. It is unfair because they are two different people, but they act so similar.

   According to her therapist, she is fine, she doesn't suffer from trauma, but she can barely be in a car without shaking, yet still she smiles. She acts like nothing is wrong. Today, is the first time is a while where I have seen her truly upset.

   She doesn't want to do her Quinceañera and I don't blame her. Neither of you are here. The first dance is the father daughter one. I can't… I want to understand how she feels, but I can't and it is so frustrating. I feel so useless when it comes to helping her, when she was eight she cried, but now she just hides and it is so scary.

  I tell myself that she is fine, that if she needs me she'll come to me, but if that isn't true what do I do?"

   Yeji took a deep breath and looked at the two graves as if waiting for an answer, "Maybe if you two were still here everything would be okay. This is the new normal though… I have to stop being angry with you guys for leaving, so I don't know when I'll be back here. I love you guys,"

    As Yeji got up, she accidentally ran into someone.

   "I'm so sorry," she apologised.

  "Ah, it is fine, I wasn't paying attention either," the man said.

    "I hope I didn't ruin your flowers,"

    "No, no, they are fine,"

Yeji nodded, "Well, I should go, once again I am sorry,"

    The redhead began to walk away, but something was telling her not to just yet. Turning around she saw the man in front of Felix's grave setting the flowers down.

  Pursing her lips she walked back over, "You know Felix?" She asked.

    "Yes, I do. Do you know him?"

   "He was my brother's lover. How do you know him? I've never seen you before,"

   "I'm his husband,"

     "Husband?" Yeji questioned.

   "Yeah, we would have been married for fifteen years this year," the man said.

   That was a shock to Yeji's system.

   "I didn't know he had a husband, I mean he was dating my brother,"

    "I know, I found out he was cheating only after the crash. I'm sorry, I never introduced myself, I'm Jae Song,"

     "Yeji Hwang, uhm, I really have to go now,"

   Before Jae could speak, Yeji left.

  As she got to her car she couldn't help but feel a little betrayed.

   It couldn't be true, right?