went to the party tonight, it was... alright. i mean i got to spend little time with the host, which sucked and i mean i stared at a table for like 2 hours, also instead of staying the night i left... shit this was a shit show.
i mean yeah i like her, but i can't socialise. shit meeting emily again was fun, she's a bit... slow, but she's nice, jack and aidan ( i can't spell) are fun and energetic. and yo my main friend, she's awesome, although i did notice my jealousy skyrocketing, so yh i'm still a fucking weirdo, but whatever.
idk although i was surrounded by people i felt alone, so alone, the one person i genuinely cared about there barley spent anytime with me, and granted it's her party and her time to have what she wants so i can't just smother her like usual, i've got to be fair, i've got to do the right thing.
but why is it over, i think i'm incapable of being just friends with someone as it stands at the moment. and why not work on the relationship? well i think she only sees me as a kid, younger brother type, it's hopeless trying to start a romantic relationship. but will i fucking stop... no.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA IT'S FUNNY CAUSE I FEEL MISERABLE! why the fuck couldn't i have stayed.
i got her a good gift though, it's a replacement necklace for the one i gave her in primary school that's gone missing, so hey one win, although i have no idea how she'll take it, but who gives a flying fuck.
YOU ARE READING
The Diary of an obsessive idiot(diary 4)
Non-Fictionmy diary, read it or don't i really don't care
