The Diary of an obsessive idiot(diary 4)

sad reality

i know i sound like a sad sac.

the fact that i'll ever have a genuine romantic relationship, or at least a relationship over a significant amount of time, is the work of fiction. i'm 19, nearly 20 years old and never had a romantic relationship, anything that came even remotely close i completely messed up, i'd call it a self destructive streak. not only that but i have no idea how to act in that type of relationship i have no experience and the only real relationship i've had insight into was my parents and that's not a relationship i want to have, ever.

the only thing good i can say about myself in a theoretical relationship is i want to be a good partner but even then my conviction to "be better" is half baked.