Head, Heart, and Soul

Scream

I want to scream at her, for feeling bad when she shouldn't
I want to scream at myself
For invading her privacy
I want to scream at my family
At my father
For breaking me, traumatizing me
I want to scream at him, for hurting her
I want to scream
I want to shout
I want to express how I really feel
How much I care but then I don't
How much guilt I have
But every time
Every time I'm ready to scream
Something happens
It changes, then I'd be wrong for being angry
Possessive
Obsessive
An asshole
Everything I try to say becomes something else
Something I didn't mean
I can't handle emotions
Not on others
I'm the youngest
Why do I have to be the one put together
The therapist
I'm always there
But
I'm trying so hard to appear normal
Overplaying the energy and emotions I have
But all I want to do is
Scream
Scream until my voice dies out
Scream even when it hurts
Not even words
I can't put into words
The hurt
The pain
The raw emotion
So I keep it bottled
I stay calm
I fix your problems the best I can
Burying my emotions
Laying them into a grave
I feel I've I've hurt you
You think your a monster
You haven't seen me
I can cause so much hurt
Pain
Everything I feel
I just want to scream
But there's no where to hide it
No where that I can scream, and scream
And scream
And scream
Scream
Scream
Scream until it feels ok
But it's never ok
Sometimes I wish I went through with it
That you didn't need me
So I could go
So I can finally kill myself and be fucking over with it
I won't hurt anyone 6ft under
I wouldn't have to scream
Like how badly
I
Need
To
SCREAM