Am I crazy?
Mayhaps
I hear them in my head you know
They keep me grounded
When I go to get high again
When I try to take again
But sometimes they want pain
And I do too
So I cause it
I stab, I dig deep
I twist the knife
Over and over
Make a circle
Slip a blade through skin
Watch the blood seep to the surface
But sometimes I want to heal
To nurture
To put a bandaid over the cuts,
Ice on the bruises
I feel crazy
I don't feel empathy for many people
I stalk those I love so they can never ever leave me
Or even try to
I may be crazy
I'm not even sure I love you
I mean,
I kiss you
I say I do
But it's lie
I want to know what it feels like to press a knife to their skin
To see the fear echo in their eyes
See how much they really trust me
Trust I won't hurt them
That I won't flick the knife
Stab and twist
I want to see the look of betrayal when I do
The pure brokenness
I lie to everyone
I'm never 100% truthful
I tell the same lies
I'm so good at it
I want to see the chaos that stems from my lies
Watching it bloom
Into something beautiful
Grown out of lies and watered with pain and tears
The trauma made me have no empathy for people
Vile creatures that call themselves human
I am human
It's why their knives dug into my flesh
So now I will stab
Twist
Remove the blade
Watch them cry
I want to hurt those close to me
But I want to kill those who hurt what I care about
Anyone who speaks to me gets caught in my web of lies
Whether it be my name
Or how I am
Or the deeper ones
The ones only I know I'm lying about
You can't escape the web of lies
Because I might be crazy
A sociopath
A maniac,
A freak,
A killer
I'll hide it, of course
But one day
You'll know
You'll know when I look into your eyes
Watching all signs of life leave them
Or maybe I'll make them like mine
Dull, made to watch for weakness
And how to exploit them
Maybe I'll make you like me
Through pain
The vicious cycle
I'll keep it going
I'll keep damaging you
All of them
I may be crazy
And crazy in love
But you love me
You will love me
You'll regret hurting me
You'll regret not loving me
YOU ARE READING
Head, Heart, and Soul
PoetryTW: Contains use of profane language, suicidal thoughts, depictions and/or mentions of violent or otherwise disturbing acts, mentions of mental health issues, and other things that may be triggering to some audiences. Read at your own discretion, an...
