The visit

Chapter7: new chapter

My dad dragged me to the lawn outside.
"Don't ever come back to my house," my dad said.
"Appa-," I started.
"I'm not your dad , get off my property now," he said cutting me off.
He turned around and started heading back inside.
"But I was raped, please help me I really need your help," I said.
He ignored me, and slammed the door once he entered inside.
I went to the door and started banging and asking for them to open up.
My dad came back out and slapped me hard, I was caught off guard and the slap was hard so I lost my balance, but I supported my body before I hit the ground.
"Shut the f- up and get out my property," my dad said.
He saw I wasn't moving, so he grabbed me by my hair and dragged me out of the lawn and went back to the house.
I decided to go back home and started packing my stuff, because I won't be able to keep paying the rent since I don't have a job and the apartment is very expensive. Luckily for I bought a small house in busan a while ago, it was supposed to be a surprise gift for my parents but I think I'll just move in there.
I only packed my clothes and necessities.

The next day
I arrived at the train station at 10:00 am and bought a ticket for 12:00am, while I was waiting for the train, I was in deep thoughts, wondering what my life had turned to in such a short time. But I didn't want to think about all that had happened, I didn't want to process any of it, I just decided to bottle it all up even though I knew it will come back and hunt me.
It was finally twelve so I entered the train and settled down and started to read a book I brought for the trip.
Eventually I got bored of the book and brought out my poetry book and pen from my bag and decided to write some poems, since writing poems makes me feel less stressed in stressful situations.

Poem 1:

Can you see me
Crying, screaming, can you see me
Broken, burned out, my light shining dimly
Tell me what you see
A liar, an idiot, a disgrace, is that all?
There I was thinking I could stand tall
Who did I think I was
The light bulb is dying slowly I can hear the buzz
Tall, fair, handsome was what he was
Abandoned, ashamed look at what you caused
Wet, torn, dirty and used
A mess in distress and bruised
Screaming out for help
But the line is dead
Tears and pain are turning into self help
The future is near, but that's all I dread
Do you know him?
Will I be happy again? The chances are slim
I had a dream
I stood before a mob of mirrors
Secrets crawling beneath my skin
Strangers telling me what I was
A painting of my sin
- K.H March 27 2015