Respite - HS

Never say never.

Audrey Harris

I think this might be the best-worst Christmas ever.

After Harry made us breakfast we watched Felix open all his presents and then we also exchanged presents with each other. Despite the rude awakening we all faced this morning, the little Christmas we set up in my apartment was sweet and safe.

Felix is currently taking a much needed nap in my guestroom while Harry, Teddy, and I are sat on the couch watching old Christmas movies.

Gathering the courage, I turn to face him. His focus is on the TV but he looks extremely tired, his eyes are closing every so often and his face his smushed against his fist as he props his arm up on the arm of the couch.

"H." I whisper as I nudge his side.

He blinks quickly as if to shake the sleepiness from his eyes and tilts his head to look at me, "Hm?"

"Are you sure you don't wanna take a nap?"

"No, no I wanna sit with you."

His sleepy words bring a smile to my face but they do little to quell my nerves.

"H, I have to go talk to Max. He's meeting me out front."

Harry sits up in an instant, "Oh. Right, yeah. I can go in the guest room with Felix if you guys are coming up here." He goes to get up off the couch but I reach for his wrist before he gets the chance.

"Harry stop. I don't want you going anywhere, I was just letting you know I'll be gone for a little bit." I chew on my lip nervously knowing what I'm about to do will change everything.

He eyes me warily, settling back into the couch.

"I uh, I know we have a lot to talk about and we're gonna have even more to talk about when I get back but I- everything is about to change I'm trying not to freak out, so please just stay here?" I squeeze his hand.

"Of course Audie. I'll be here. I'll be anywhere you need me to be. Promise." He says softly squeezing my hand back.

I send him a tight smile and pause to gather myself before making my way down to the store. Just as I reach the door Harry calls for me.

"Everything's gonna be alright. No matter what, I'm here." His words are dripping with trepidation, like he doesn't know if he should believe his own words.

They affect me regardless, reminding me that I'm making the right decision. He cares. You can tell just by one look in his eyes.

I need to do this for me. I am doing this for me. I have to keep reminding myself that I haven't done anything wrong, that by doing what's best for me isn't selfish. I deserve good things, I deserve to be happy, I deserve to glow.

Taking one last breath I make my way towards the stairs. The shop's been closed for a couple days now due to the holiday and I can't help but smile to myself. I did this all on my own. I couldn't be happier with my job and I never needed anyone to prove to myself that I did good.

When I open the front door, the bell above shakes me from my inner monologue. That and the harsh cold that nips at my nose. Standing all too calmly to my left is Max.

"You wanted to talk?" He says leveled when he notices me spacing out.

I suck in a deep breath, "Right, yeah, I did."

"About?" His tone is off putting.

"We need to break up."

The words are out of my mouth before I can even think twice about my delivery. However my blunt words never seemed to bother Max, at this very moment he looks as though he was expecting it. I'm not sure how to feel about that.