Respite - HS

Scared of Being Lonely.

THIS IS THE SECOND PART OF THE DOUBLE UPDATE! READ WAITING FIRST!
Audrey Harris

This plane ride is surprisingly just as nerve wracking as the one to New York.

My mom and I's relationship changed a lot after my dad died. It wasn't awful but I struggled to cope with the fact that my mother and I grieved in two completely different ways. She was quick to assume back to normal life, "no wallowing" she would claim. She turned down the casseroles from neighbors, she kept herself moving like nothing had changed. I think I only saw her cry about it at his funeral.

I on the other hand, cried constantly, and if I wasn't crying I was angry. I think the only person I actually spoke to was Serena for a solid six months.

As time went on and I learned to live with what happened, things got a little better. My mom tried not to talk about my dad around me, and I went through the rest of high school keeping my head shoved in a book and ignoring everyone around me with my headphones on constantly. By the time I graduated my mom said we were moving to Denver for a "fresh start".

She got a new job as physiotherapist in town and I started at the community college. Things were constantly tense it was extremely apparent that I did not want to move, Serena was already in school in New York, I was alone most of the time, I was really unhappy. My mom didn't think twice about it, she figured I was still grieving or that I was angry with her, she moved on and left me in the dust.

She got remarried six years after my dad died. She met Pete five years after my dad died. They work together. Pete has two sons, twins, they're 3 years older than me. We moved again. And after two years of community college, an associates degree in business, and every penny I had to my name, including the money my dad left for me, I moved back to Aspen, bought the store and never looked back. Serena's parents moved to New York but kept their place as a vacation home so I stayed there until I figured everything out.

Sitting here after everything, reflecting on the last ten years of my life, I know now how badly I handled things. I never confronted any of my problems, I thought if I could just have this one thing, this one place where my dad still existed, then everything would be okay.

Clearly I was wrong about that.

The three hour plane ride goes by in a blink and before I know it I'm pulling my phone out of my pocket to order an uber to Pete's house.

Waiting for the car to pull up I go to text Serena that I landed safely when a text from Harry pops up on my screen after I finally remembered to take my phone off of airplane mode.

From: Apollo

Hope you got in safely. I'm so sorry Audrey. Call me?

Staring at the tiny letters on my screen my heart lurches. I want so badly to be able to say fuck it and call him, forgetting all about this hellish weekend, and move on. But I know better. I have to do this, I have to work through this if I want to be with him, or even just hear him out. This is for me, Harry can grovel later.

Sharing my location with Serena, I find the car and embark on the twenty five minute ride to see my mom. The car ride is silent for the most part, the older man driving choosing not to acknowledge my disheveled appearance only offering up a polite hello when I got in the back.

Walking up the little stone pathway to the front door my heart hammers against my chest, the accumulation of everything hitting me full force. I knock on the door with a sniffle.

The late afternoon sun shines on the door as it creaks open with Pete on the other side. His mouth falls open at the sight of me and quickly collects me into his arms.