Best Served Cold

Chapter 38

 Wooyoung spilled it all out to Jongho from the beginning of how things actually started to how things ended. He omitted a lot of the sexual details since he didn't want to relive such fresh memories. Jongho didn't say all too much except when he needed clarification about things. Did he feel better after laying himself bare onto someone who probably didn't care much about him at all? Not really. He knew Jongho was just doing this for the sake of Yeosang's sanity.

"I can see why you're so broken up about this," Jongho said after he was done telling him. "San really did all that, huh?"

"Mmm..."

"He even went as far to trick you by having someone else pretend to be S. Wow."

"Hmmm?"

"I must say I am quite amazed. When I met him, all I saw was someone who was deeply in love with you. I didn't expect this."

"You...thought he was in love with me?"

"No one would just stand up for someone whom they don't love or at least like. He was ready to fight me to protect you, okay? I know he loved you. He really does, Wooyoung."

"What do you mean?" Wooyoung was uncertain how Jongho could grasp that after the whole story he just told him.

"He loved you so he had to let you go. Ultimately, it was a game of revenge and he lost. You both lost."

"Huh?"

"Think about it. You raped him and then you left him. He did the exact same to you."

Wooyoung blinked and stared at Jongho whose words seemed to make sense but he couldn't process it in his head right now.

"Geez, do I have to spell it out?"

"I'm sorry I'm just stupid right now."

"Why else would he be so nice to you if all he wanted was revenge? He could have just continued to rape you as S and never showed himself as San or even expose himself as S in the end but the thing is, he does love you and you loved him. It hurt him, I guess. That's why he had to leave. He already hurt you and got what he wanted out of it. His revenge of you raping him, leaving was the last step but he realized that he had hurt you too much so he asked you to forget it all instead and disappears rather than just disappearing without exposing his own identity. He could have continued to live as San, your caring boyfriend, but... he lost his own game because he loved you."

"I still don't get it..."

"Hah...I guess it's hard to grasp it. Even I am unsure if those are his thoughts."

"But he loves me?"

"Yes."

Wooyoung didn't know if he should be happy or not. He didn't know what to feel as the grief in him was so deeply rooted along with his anger that San had done this to him. He knew he started it but he didn't make things like this either.

"Did you ever apologize?"

"Huh?"

"To San for raping him and leaving him."

Wooyoung fell silent. He did apologize for one of it but not the other.

"Maybe he just wanted to hear that. Some people just need an apology to move on, Wooyoung hyung."

"I don't know."

"Of course not. If I had been in a similar spot, I wouldn't have known what to think either."

"But I don't know where he went and I don't know if I want to see him again too."

"What both of you did to each other is horrible. I don't know if either of you can truly forgive each other. Maybe that's why he thought leaving was for the best. That way you won't have to hurt each other anymore."