Oorah - Salim x M!Reader [House of Ashes]

Chapter Twenty-One

TW: PTSD

After a tiny bit of walking, the two came upon a cliff. (Y/N) and Salim climbed onto it. "What in the fuck...?" (Y/N) whispered to himself as he looked around. The part they were on wasn't the whole underground. It was only a tiny fraction. The two walked close to the edge, looking. There were other platforms. Dozens. They had only explored a tiny piece of the puzzle.

"What is this place?" Salim questioned, trying to make sense of it. Any sense. But every idea that popped into his head just brought more questions. More uncertainty. This... This couldn't be real. 

(Y/N) tried to look further into the space, but it was impossible. There was too much fog. The platforms seemed to go on forever. 

"What is this hell?" Salim muttered, eyebrows knitting together. "Is this even real?" (Y/N) went to respond, but he looked over at Salim. He could see how tense he was. Salim met his gaze, breathing heavily. "None of this feels real."

"I know... I don't know where we-"

"No," Salim said firmly, interrupting the other. "Not just this place. You... You aren't real, are you?" (Y/N) wants to respond, but Salim is speaking quickly. He has too many thoughts in his head he wants out. "Never before have I met someone like you. Someone so kind. So beautiful," Salim breathes out, beginning to pace back and forth. "But you're a man. You shouldn't like me. Only in my dreams could someone like you love someone like me." Salim stops, closing his eyes. "It can't be real," He says after a moment, shaking his head.  

"Salim..." (Y/N) reaches out, grabbing the man's shoulders, forcing Salim to open his eyes and look at him. "I'm real. You're real. This... Us. It's real." (Y/N) lets it sink in for a moment before he lets go of Salim.

Salim stays still for a moment, looking at (Y/N). Trying to believe that (Y/N) was his and not a hallucination. He was real and he liked Salim. Salim moved his hand forward, resting it on (Y/N)'s cheek, holding him gently. It felt more real when he touched him. It brought Salim back to reality. Salim removed his hand, facing the platforms again. He was silent for a moment. "Before I met you... Zain was all I had left in this world. After his mother left us, I gave him my all. I wanted him to have everything I didn't."

"Tell me about him," (Y/N) said. He wanted Salim to calm down. He figured talking about his son might help Salim relax. Bring him back to the real world.

"My boy has made me very proud," Salim replied, a smile coming to his face. "He is going to London. To University." Salim went quiet for a moment, his smile fading. "If only he would stop stealing..."

"Sounds like me, when I was younger," (Y/N) mumbled. Salim looked back at him, curious. (Y/N) sighed, realizing he had to explain. "I was... a bit of a troublemaker, back when I was younger. I use to do all kinds of shit. Vandalize stuff, drugs... I used to steal, too. Just to name a few."

"Truly?" Salim asks in disbelief. "You don't seem like the type."

"Yeah, well... They gave me a choice. Service or jail. The military straightened me out," (Y/N) recalls, chuckling. "But uh... Zain doesn't have to go through that. Maybe I could talk to him?"

Salim tilts his head slightly. "You would do that?"

"Sure," (Y/N) smiled softly. "If you want me to."

Salim finally smiles. "I would like that." It means more than just a talk with his son. It's a promise. A promise to see each other again. Not sometime in the future. But soon. Silence fills the air again. Salim had spent the last few minutes airing out his problems. He felt only fair to give that courtesy to his lover. "Is your conscience clear, (Y/N)?"

(Y/N) looks away, giving Salim his answer. "I guess," (Y/N) says.

Salim knows he's hiding his emotions. "Tell me."

(Y/N) sighs. Salim felt comforting. (Y/N) felt like he could tell Salim his problems without being judged. "I... I don't know. Just... I've seen people die before. Lost count of how many people," (Y/N) whispers but Salim is able to hear him. "They tell you that you'll get used to it. And I thought I had. I thought I had, but... Seeing everyone die tonight... It made me realize that I'm not used to it."

"I don't think anyone can ever get used to death," Salim said to him. Salim had seen his fair share of deaths. Both on his side and the enemy's.

"It's not just about the deaths, either. I'm... I'm a Corpsman. I've saved lives. But there are many who have died in my arms," (Y/N) shook his head, trying to forget the faces. Trying to forget the deaths. "There are so many people I've cared for that have died. People I've loved..." (Y/N) pauses for a moment before he looks over at Salim. "I'm worried I'll lose you, too."

Salim can see the heartbreak in (Y/N)'s eyes. The pained expression on his face. Salim isn't sure how to deal with this. He doesn't know the right words. Salim walks up to (Y/N), wrapping him in a hug. "You won't lose me," Salim tells him, his words firm. It takes a minute before Salim can feel (Y/N)'s hands hug him back. (Y/N) holds him tightly, afraid to let him go.