𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩

snapped

HI GUYS!! I FINALLY UPDATED, WOHOOO 💓💓 IM SO SORRY, ILL TRY TO BE MORE ACTIVE. Enjoy the song and make sure to check the TWs before reading! lots of love xx

TW: suicidal thoughts, Ed, self harm

I fall back asleep and plan on doing it for the rest of the day, I have no drive to get up. No reason for me to get up, it's not like my brothers will care.

I fucked everything up last night, I was selfish and ruined the one thing stable in my life, my brothers.

They were probably celebrating when I shouted at them last night, because now they have a reason to not hang out with me, to not love me.

I roll over and pull my comforter over me, in attempt to just disappear.

"Knock knock" I turn over to see Elliot standing at the door with a goofy grin, I look at him blankly.

"Cmon get up, it's breakfast and we all need to have a little chat little miss" he says.

"Don't.... Wanna" I mumble, and pull the comforter over my head.

"I'm not asking you I'm telling you, up...now!" He says, slightly annoyed .

I roll my eyes.

That's my plans ruined for the day.

I get up and pull on a hoodie over my t shirt, and pull up my sweatpants which hang loosely around my waist. They aren't hanging lose enough, don't even think you've lost any weight. Because you haven't.

I'm going to weigh myself after breakfast, I hope I've lost weight.

I give my hair a quick brush before slowly trudging down the stairs, not prepared for a 'little chat'

I hear voices talking and as I reach the kitchen someone clears their throat, all the voices stop or turn into a quiet whisper.

Jeez guys, don't stop having fun on my accord.

"Morning" Alexander says, sitting down at the table with a mug of coffee in his hand, while he pays the empty seat next to him with the other.

I walk towards the seat and sit in it, my head bowed as I try to avoid the stares from my other brothers.

"Toast or Cereal, Bonnie?" I look up to see Rafe looking at me impatiently, I shake my head.

"Nothing... don't feel well" I mumble, with my head in my hands, resting in the table.

"Why... are you okay?" Elliot who's sat on the other side puts his hand to my forehead, while my other brothers all hold worried expressions and Rafe is suddenly beside me feeling my forehead too.

I'm not even ill, I just don't want to eat.

I roll my eyes and slump down, crossing my arms on the table and resting my head on top.

"Hm.. you do feel hot" Rafe comments, Elliot mumbles an agreement.

What are these men on? I'm lying. It must be the placebo effect taking place, there's no way in hell I'm hot.

"Up Bonnie, let me feel" Alex commands in his strong alpha-type voice, I reluctantly comply and lift my head, avoiding eye contact with all my brothers.

"Hm.. maybe a little" he says, a frown etched on his face.

"It's fine.. I'm fine" I try to gloss over. It's weird. One minute I loved being the centre off attention, especially my brothers and now; all I want is to shrink and hide away in a corner.

Or just to not be here anymore.

It's now Evans' turn to come and make a fuss and feel my forehead, I sigh deeply and look around to be met with my 3 other eldest brothers looking straight back at me.