𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩

lunchtime

omg two updates in one day? And taylor music? I'm slaying !! happy Christmas! or Hanukkah, or if you don't celebrate either I hope your having the best day/ night 🫶🏼 enjoy reading queens + kings xoxo

If you don't want to read the next bit that's fine, just skip to the story 💗

TW: EATING DISORDERS/ WEIGHT

disclaimer: Anything said about eating, eds and weight are not true, this is just Bonnies mind/ overthinking. Do not feel influenced, sad or upset about anything said in this as it's not true!! We weren't put on this world to be worrying about our weight or how we look, it's society and it's harsh beauty standards. I know I do not care at all about someone's weight, I know that whether someone be a size extra small or extra large, they are the most jaw- dropping, beautiful, kind soul ever. In this harsh world, society has brought us up to believe that being 'fat' is wrong, when actually there is nothing wrong with it. You are you, imperfectly perfect and your alive. You are breathing, your body is keeping you alive, and do you know what fuels it? Food! Don't ever feel restricted or that 'you can't eat it' because you know what, fuck it! Don't call it a cheat meal, it's just a normal meal, fuelling your body to keep you alive. The life we live based around social media is so terrible, influencing us, causing us to think being a different size is wrong and 'ugly'. I hope you realise that this is not true at all, everyone is beautiful in their own way, inside and out, nothing to do with weight or size. Society sucks, being brought up in it ruins us, but just know you are worth it.

*NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM IS THIS BOOK 'ROMANTICISING' EATING DISORDERS, OTHER MENTAL ILLNESSES AND SELF HARM*

After a couple more boring lessons plus an uneventful break listening to jules rambling about her favourite flavour vapes, it's finally lunch. I wasn't really in the mood to eat today, when I saw myself in the mirror this morning all I could see was a fat, lazy whale. I thought I only gained a couple pounds during summer but clearly I had gained much more. I had to loose weight, or I'll not make new friends, lose the ones I have. My brothers won't hang out with me and I'll never be loved.

You've predicted you future then.

What? That's not true. Now I definitely don't want lunch.

As I walk towards the tree, where I arranged to meet jules a notification appears on my phone.

Nic
Hey Bon, come sit with us at lunch please,
You can bring your friend.
We are in the cafeteria

Bonnie
Really?! Urgh fine. I'm just eating my lunch then I'll be there in 5.

Nic
Thanks Bob.

Bonnie
Urgh shut up🙄

Nic
Never, I'm your older brother :)

Are you kidding me? This overprotective ness is getting to a new level, these boys need to chill! It's not like I'm going to get fucked in the middle of school. God.

I walk a bit slower to Jules 'eating my lunch' and pretend to throw something in the trash when she comes into view.

I catch her eye and wave and she comes walking up towards me, her bright eyes lit up with joy, while mine are dull, lit up but quickly fade out..

"Bonniiiieeeee" Jules says and hugs me, god I love her. Random displays of affection is one of the things that makes her, her. Her love language must be physical touch, I'm not mad about it, sometimes a hug can make something 10x better.

"Juleeeeesss" I repeat back to her in the same tone, adding a sarcastic 'dude' voice.

She laughs and links her arm with mine, I lean my head on her shoulder, she's a bit taller than me, but not by much.