The day we fell.

chapter 22: surviving the reflection

Tom's POV:

As I navigated the desolate streets, my mind was consumed by a murderous storm of emotions. Skyla had used me, manipulating my rage to further her twisted agenda. Betrayal and anger burned within me, intertwining with the memories of Lucy and Jace, my beloved girlfriend and our son. Their faces flashed before my eyes, serving as a reminder of what I was fighting for. 

The streets were infested with zombies, their decaying forms stumbling aimlessly, hungering for human flesh. My rage surged, providing a wellspring of power that fuelled my every move. With each swing of my weapon, I dispatched the undead, their lifeless bodies crumbling beneath my relentless onslaught. I knew my rage wasn't getting any better, but if I wanted to be there for Lucy and Jace, I had to try.  The words I said to them flash past me in a haze. "If I don't come back within two weeks, assume that my anger was too dangerous or that I'm dead." But it wasn't just the undead that stood in my path. Gangs of looters and criminals roamed the city, taking advantage of the chaos. My rage morphed into a weapon of justice as I confronted these lawless individuals. The streets echoed with the sound of gunfire and the clash of steel, and I fought with a ferocity that bordered on madness.

Amidst the bloodshed and chaos that I endured during my time away from Lu and Jace, the image of Lucy's warm smile, her sweet laugh and Jace's sarcastic banter kept me grounded. Their presence, even in my thoughts, kept the flames of my rage at a low, reminding me of the love and responsibility I carried and the people I had waiting for me back home. I couldn't let my anger consume me entirely; I had to maintain control for their sake. Each fallen enemy became a sombre reminder of the consequences of my rage. The lives I ended, even in the name of Skyla's toxic justice, weighed heavily on my conscience. The violence I had witnessed and perpetrated left a scar on my soul, a constant reminder of the darkness that lurked within me. It was a stark contrast to the love and compassion that Lucy and Jace represented.

As I sought to assess the depths of my rage, I yearned for redemption, to go back to the man I once was. I yearned to return to Lucy's embrace, to be on the receiving end of Jace's sarcastic remarks. The thought of their safety and happiness drove me forward, even in the face of despair. I would not allow Skyla's manipulation or my fury to sever the bonds that held us together. During this chaotic world, I vowed to find a way to control my rage, to ensure that the power within me served a purpose greater than destruction. I would protect those I loved and fight for a better future, where the shadows of anger and violence would be replaced by a light of hope and tranquillity. 

Every night I wait, trying to find myself once more, I'm reminded of what I left behind. Of the people, I cared about most and abandoned due to my problems and fears. Lucy, with her captivating presence, possesses a beauty that is both alluring and comforting. Her eyes, like pools of endless warmth, draw me in and offer solace during turmoil. The look she gives me before we kiss makes my heart race, and the way her whole face lights up after melts me away. And then there are her lips, soft and delicate, with a natural blush that hints at the sweetness they hold. Just a glimpse of her smile can melt away the weight of the world, leaving only a sense of blissful contentment. Her gorgeous smile, a radiant burst of sunlight, could illuminate the darkest corners of my soul. It was infectious, spreading warmth and joy with every curve of her lips. In that simple curve, I found solace, a beacon of happiness that reminded me of the beauty in the world and her laughter, oh, how it danced in the air like a melody that I wish only I could hear. It was a symphony of delight, lifting my spirits and erasing any trace of darkness. With each peal of laughter, my worries melted away, replaced by a profound sense of contentment. Lucy's laughter was the sound of pure happiness, an enchanting spell that captivated my heart. 

My mind then flashes to Jace, my childhood best friend and Lucy's closest confidant, to the point she treats him like her son, who is a beacon of unwavering loyalty and infectious enthusiasm. His vibrant personality lights up any room he enters, his sarcastic remarks always allow me to hear Lucy laugh more than I usually would, and his genuine care for those around him is evident in every interaction. Jace has an adventurous spirit, always eager to explore new possibilities and push boundaries. He possesses a mischievous sense of humour that never fails to bring a smile to my face. With his unwavering support and unwavering friendship, Jace has become an integral part of my life, a son by choice rather than blood. I sit alone with my thoughts, this is at least my third night alone. I hate every second of it.

I've been alone for what feels like an eternity, but it's most likely only been a good two or three days. It feels nice being alone, I can hunt freely and do what I want but I just miss one thing: her. I miss loads of things from the past that I can't reclaim. Despite all the shit I had to do for Skyla, she saw me as an equal and not one of her minions; at least I don't think. As I ventured through the desolate streets, my mind wandered back to Skyla and the weird and complex relationship we shared. Even though she had manipulated my anger, exploiting it for her twisted agenda, and for the good of her feared Dead-shot syndicate, there was a part of me that couldn't shake the feeling of potential friendship we had developed. In a world where trust was scarce, she had treated me as an equal, valuing my skills and embracing the fire within me. But as I reflected on our interactions, doubts crept in. Was I truly an equal in her eyes, or just another pawn in her game? Did she truly see the potential within me, or was I merely a means to an end? The questions gnawed at my conscience, fuelling a mixture of resentment and confusion.

Honestly, I missed the freedom that being alone provided, the ability to make decisions without the weight of others' expectations. I relished the chance to hunt freely and live by my own rules, unburdened by the constant struggles and compromises that came with companionship. And yet, there was a void in my heart, a longing for connection that no amount of solitude could fill. But above all, I missed her. Skyla. I never thought I'd say that but the memories of our time together haunted me, both the thrilling moments of rebellion and the quieter, intimate conversations we shared. Skyla's presence had ignited something within me, a sense of purpose and belonging that I hadn't felt in a long time. Despite the questionable nature of our alliance, there was an unspoken understanding between us, a connection born from shared pain and a desire for justice. Even with Lucy on my mind always during that time, I still couldn't shake the feeling of how my and Skyla's friendship was. Even if it almost wrecked the only love I knew I had left.

As conflicting emotions swirled within me, I couldn't deny the consequences I was experiencing because of the past, the memories that lingered like fragments of a forgotten dream. But I also knew that dwelling on what could not be reclaimed would only hinder my progress. I had to stay focused on the present, and on the task at hand; finding myself to better myself for me. For Jace. For Lucy.  With a heavy heart and a determined resolve, I pushed forward, the memories of Skyla and the mixed feelings they evoked serving as a constant reminder of the complexity of human connection. My mind thinks about the relationship between me and Jace.  In this bleak and unforgiving world, I would navigate the shadows, not only in search of redemption for myself but also in the hope of forging genuine connections that would bring light back into my life.