Nobody's Fool Y'all

19

 Maury opened the front door, and her jaw dropped.

"Oh, Hadley!" she cried. "I am always struck by what a gorgeous car this is. I forget it, sometimes."

"I let that slip sometimes, myself. Are you all packed?"

Maury threw her bag into the trunk and hopped onto the light blue and ivory bench seat.

"Hadley, I'm glad we're doing this. It's such a spur of the moment thing. I don't know. It makes it special, you know. It's the kinda thing we'd do when we were younger," Maury said. "And you know what?"

"What?"

"I am starting to forget I was even mad at you."

Hadley smiled. At least something was going as planned. Hadley gunned the engine, and she backed out of Maury's driveway. Maury turned on the radio. She twisted the dial until she found an oldies station and wrenched the volume up.

"I'm glad you phoned and told me you'd be delayed getting the tires at Brinkley's," Maury said.

"While I was there, I ran into B.," said Hadley. "Her car's giving her some trouble. Brinkley's working on it."

"Well, if anybody can heal a sick vehicle, it's Brinkley."

"Yeah," said Hadley. "She's worried you're still fretting about not being her matron of honor at the wedding."

"Huh," said Maury, "I wouldn't trade places with you for a million bucks! I remember her last wedding! I never liked Redd Haskell, and I never knew what B saw in the guy. But Hadley, I remember I never felt so sorry for one human in my whole life. I mean, the poor fellow stood there in that hideous purple tux with the gold lapels. He glowed! I swear, from where I sat, he shimmered. I never saw anything like it."

"It was the material and the way the lights were focused on the front of the church," said Hadley. "I saw it, too. Some kind of optical illusion. But boy, was it effective."

"Yeah. Our cousin looked like she was getting hitched to a ghost," said Maury.

"Well," said Hadley, "the way he'd go off and disappear on his young bride for days would make you think he was one! He made her so unhappy. I was glad when she decided to give him the boot."

"I know," said Maury. "Everyone knew he was two-timing her. Everyone but her."

"And she's always been such a nice person. I don't know why she let him walk all over her like he did. He treated her like a doormat. Bill said Redd was nothing but a drunk, and a mean one, at that," said Maury.

"Attraction, lust, whatever you call it," said Hadley, "is thorny. I'll never figure out why some people do what they do. But this time, I'm hoping our cousin has hit the jackpot."

"She deserves it," said Maury. "And I like this man B's marrying. He's hardworking and so down to earth."

"And cute as a baby squirrel," said Hadley.

"That too. Course, our cousin ain't too shabby in the looks department either. She's always had the prettiest face. But where does her taste come from?"

"Another one of Nature's unexplainable paradoxes," said Hadley. "Uncle Otha and Aunt Maybelline are two of the most conservative people you will ever want to meet. Aunt May thinks gray is a garish color to wear unless it's on your head."

"I know," said Maury. "Maybe it stems from all that black and white growing up."

"White house, white interior, dark furniture," said Hadley. "B. did have a pretty dull upbringing. Otha and May always wore black, too. She said it was because the sturdiest materials were that color."

"I think it was because Uncle Otha was so cheap," said Maury. "Who would know, if you always wore the same color, exactly how long you wore the same pair of pants?"

"It would be hard to tell, I reckon."

"Oh, remember when she won Miss Mountain Ridge?" Maury asked.

"Hah! She came out on that stage in that teal and orange gown. I don't think anybody had ever seen anything like that gown."

"She worked all year on that thing. It was her senior project," said Maury.

"Good thing Uncle Otha was holed up at home with bursitis," said Hadley. "He would have had a stroke when she bounced out on stage in that getup."

"And Kathy Barrow was so torn up when she came in second, remember?"

"I know," said Hadley. "Where did the time go, Sis? When we reminiscence about all that, it seems like it was only yesterday."

"I think that's why she married Redd right after high school," said Maury. "She'd won the beauty contest and got a little taste of freedom. She'd just turned eighteen."

"Yeah," said Hadley, "but I think Otha saw what a good looking girl she'd grown into. He was just afraid for her. That's why they kept such a tight leash on her."

"And look what that got them," said Maury.

"A boozing jerk for a son-in-law."

"Exactly."

"You know," said Hadley, "they said that when B. told Aunt May she'd made a mistake, May told her she'd made her bed, and she'd have to sleep in it."

"I heard that too," said Maury. "But I think it wasn't tough love. I think Aunt May was scared to death that B. would bring Redd back home to live with Otha and her. Can you imagine Otha and Redd under the same roof?"

"It would have been World War III."

"Otha liked his nip now and then, too," said Maury. "And he had a good-sized temper when he wanted to show it."

"Guess May couldn't stand the thought of that. Mama always said she never knew how Daddy and Uncle Otha came from the same stock."

"We lucked out with Daddy, Hadley," Maury said. "B. wasn't so lucky with Uncle Otha."

"We can count our blessings. I just hope that she finds true happiness this go round."