Nobody's Fool Y'all

25

 Hadley ran outside and looked.

"It's just a big bush, Maury. There are some old, dried seed pods still hanging on. I guess it was just the way the light fell on them. You only thought somebody was looking in the window. Come on. Let's unpack."

The women began to unpack their suitcases.

Lou Edna quickly stuffed something under her pillow case.

"What are you trying to hide over there, young lady?" Hadley asked.

"Nothing."

Hadley gave Lou Edna the evil eye. She picked up the pillow and pulled out a bright pink negligee.

"You're not thinking of wearing that while we're here, I hope."

"Why not? It's what I wear at home."

"But," said Hadley, "you're not bunking with Elwin."

"Shhhh," said Lou Edna. "Maury will hear you."

"Here," said Hadley, tossing over an extra gown she'd thought to pack because she had a sneaking suspicion Lou Edna would bring her slinkiest nightie.

"What is that?" Lou Edna said. "A horse blanket? Hadley, I won't sleep a wink in that granny gown. You're not serious."

"I am. You go parading around in that G-string ribbon and two specks of lace, and Maury is liable to have a heart attack. She's led a sheltered life, you know. And she did agree to let you tag along out of the kindness of her heart."

"You really know how to twist the screws, Hadley."

Hadley smiled. Lou Edna put the negligee back into her suitcase.

"This place advertised free Wi-Fi," said Hadley. "Let's see if it works."

"What have you got?" Lou Edna asked.

"It's my new iPad," said Hadley. "I thought I'd bring it. I sometimes have trouble sleeping the first night on a strange mattress. I brought this along to keep me company. If I can't sleep, I'll use this to do a little research."

"Why not watch old movies," said Lou Edna.

Lou Edna picked up the flat tablet and gave it the once-over.

"I'd rather have Clark Gable or Errol Flynn," said Lou Edna. "Can't you just imagine those two handsome hunks in a place like this? I can! Maybe we could get an old movie on this thing of yours, Hadley."

"You and your new-fangled gadgets," said Maury.

"Wanna try it?" said Hadley, who had found the code taped to the bureau where the flat-screen sat.

"Count me out," said Maury. "Skip says I'm one of those dinosaurs who will always have to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century. I'm gonna paint my toenails."

"Suit yourself," said Hadley.

"What are you researching?" asked Lou Edna. "Anything good?"

"Anna is trying to convince me to take some online courses," said Hadley. "She's considering taking some more herself. She wants her to get her Masters in Library Science."

"Masters," said Lou Edna. "But she already has two bachelors' degrees. What does she need with another degree?"

"She doesn't need it," said Hadley. "She wants it. You know. Fulfillment of a dream. That kind of thing."

"I'm like Maury," said Lou Edna. "I'd rather watch toenail polish dry or cheese mold or kudzu grow. What possessed her to want that?"

"The way she explained it to me was that the kids were older and more self-sufficient. She had one four-year degree, but she decided to go back to school and get her second one. This time, in library science."

"Well, that's nice. I guess," said Lou Edna. "But it sounds expensive."

"She told me Stanley said the same thing. But if you think about it, it's no more expensive than all those melancholy-blue spending sprees you engage in every year," said Hadley. "Add it all up, and I'd call it Even Stephen."

"Hush, Hadley," said Lou Edna. "That's therapy."

"Well," Hadley said, "I guess, in a way, going back to school was Anna's therapy."

"How so?"

"Promise me, Lou, on a blood oath, you will never repeat a word of this."

"What is it?" she asked. "Did Anna commit some horrible crime? Is she some kind of maniacal serial killer? She got sent to the lockup, didn't she? She studied hard and got one of those jailhouse degrees! That whole story she's told about her and Stanley is a sham. She was in the Big House. How did she get out? They don't let you 'pass go' and walk right out of the hoosegow for good behavior if you've knocked off a bunch of people. And I really liked her! She had me fooled."

"Your imagination is a thing to behold, Lou," Hadley said. "Nothing like that at all. Anna's a dear friend. She's told me things, and I've confided things to her. She's never been in jail. As far as I know, she's never even got a traffic ticket. Without getting too deeply into it, Anna didn't have the best childhood."

"Oh, gosh," said Lou Edna. "I just assumed Anna had a charmed life. She's so beautiful. Stanley's so nice. They've been all over the world."

"Suffice it to say," said Hadley, "that if it wasn't for the kindness of Anna's school librarian, she doesn't know where she would have ended up. Maybe the Big House. Maybe worse."

"That bad?"

"That bad," said Hadley. "And remember, you are bound never to tell anyone I've told you this."

"I won't," said Lou Edna. "I know if I did, the curse you'd put on me would never let me see the light of another one."

"You're joking," said Hadley. "But that's exactly right."

"So, working at the library is a way for Anna to pay back that kindly little lady who what?"

"Who opened the world to her via books," said Hadley. "Anna hopes to have the same kind of good influence on the kids in Hope Rock County. Some of them have it really rough. With the collapse of coal, the disappearance of manufacturing, furniture, textiles, and even tobacco, so many of our folks are suffering."

"Wow," said Lou Edna, "I applaud her for wanting to do that. What about you? Are you are researching some courses like Anna or some that are fun to take. Like, I dunno, if your mama licked her Kleenex to wipe the dirt off your face as a child, does that infect you with cooties that live with you to adulthood?"

"Definitely not that kind of course. Besides, I haven't even decided if I want to do anything like that, yet," said Hadley. "But if I did, it would be something less fun and more studious, Lou."

"And BORING. You're such a brain, Hadley."

"Even if I don't actually decide to do it, Anna says the exercise will help me with my search skills. I still consider myself a newbie at all this Internet razzle-dazzle."

"Huh," Lou Edna scoffed. "Improve your search skills. Improve your typing skills is more like it. I took typing with you in Miss Clayburn's class, remember? You were terrible."

"Electric typewriters and Miss Clayburn and I did not exactly get along," said Hadley.

"Those five-page lessons we had to type with no errors were awful."

"Exercises in torture. They were ridiculous," said Hadley. "That's why God invented Wite-Out!"

"Shoot. We are old. That stuff's gone the way of the rotary phone!" said Lou Edna.

"Hey, you two," Maury called from the bathroom. "How in the heck does this thing work?"