My Beautiful Boy ✔️

20

I'm staring at her as she tries to convince me that none of this is my fault. All of this is my fault. I should never have gotten her involved in this. I know now what I have to do. I have to protect her. I have to keep her safe. Just as she was once protecting me, I must do the same.

Alayna gazes up at me with her big brown eyes and I think I'm crumbling underneath her tempting leer. I clear my throat.

"None of this is your fault, Dawson." She tells me, stroking the skin on my hand. I try to breathe, but it proves difficult. She stares up at me and I'm staring down at her.

"I'm not gonna let you out of my sight." I mumble, stepping close to her. Alayna stands straighter and I'm carefully reaching out and lifting her chin with my thumb. Her mouth parts in shock. "I promise you won't get hurt." I told her, quietly.

Alayna licks her bottom lip and stands on her tiptoes. I lower my head slightly. Our lips are almost touching. I can feel her breath on my skin and I close my eyes. Tingles erupt all over my body and Alayna lifts herself a little more, her lips softly touching mine.

A gasp leaves my mouth as we kiss, our mouths carefully moving together. Alayna's hands are on my waist and she's leaning into me. I'm barely moving as we kiss, tremors of fear and shivers run through my body. We're closer than we've ever been and it freaks me out.

My hand shakes as I lift it and gently rest it on Alayna's cheek, my thumb slowly stroking her soft, bronze skin. She pulls me closer and now I'm cupping both her cheeks, my teeth grazing her bottom lip. Alayna sighs into the kiss, her lips are like a caressing brush of a feather against paper, and she is the ink I need to write the story.

Then, we're pulling apart, our foreheads touching. Alayna stares up at me, a small smile on her face. "We're late for college." She whispers, and I chuckle, shaking my head. My body still felt heavy from the kiss, but I shook it off.

"Don't go to college. Go straight home. Stay with your parents. Call me if anything happens, okay?" I tell her, and she nods her head. "I'll pick you up tomorrow to walk to college." I tell her, and she nods her head again.

I feel her squeeze my hand before she sends me a small smile and walks away. I sigh, closing my eyes and tilting my head to the sky. Every bone in my body clattered with anger towards my father as I processed this entire situation.

I've had enough. Not only am I paying for his actions, but now Alayna has been dragged into it. And, she's not going to get hurt under my watch. So, instead of going to college like I was planning, I rushed back home and stormed into my parents room.

They were standing opposite each other, quite obviously in the middle of a row. I stand with my hands on my hips as I glare at the both of them. "This has gone too far." I tell them, staring at my father. "You are going to pay Stawarski now!" I yell, stepping closer to him. Dad glances at mum before sighing and walking towards me.

We're glaring at each other, both of us squaring up to the other. "I don't know where your sudden burst of confidence has come from, but if you don't back the fuck up-" He begins, but I cut him off.

"You can't threaten me, dad." I shake my head. "People that I care about are getting hurt because of this, so you have to stop it!" I burst out, and dad tilts his head to the side, squinting his eyes.

"You're talking about that fucking girl, aren't you?" He realised. "God, Dawson, haven't I told you that foreigners are fucking idiots? She can't even speak English properly!" He shouts into my face, a short laugh leaving his throat.

"She speaks fluent English." I scoff, shaking my head. "And where she's from doesn't affect anything, dad." I spit, throwing my hands into the air. "She's human." I told him.

"If she's getting hurt, she probably deserves it." Dad scoffs, before turning away from me. My mouth drops open in shock. I stare at the back of his head and I don't have enough time to reply before he's swinging the bedroom door to a close. A groan leaves my mouth as I angrily turn away from their room and enter my own room, collapsing onto the bed.

I stare up at the ceiling and grab my phone, entering my camera roll. The latest picture was the screenshot I took of Alayna's post on social media, and I still haven't brought myself to delete it.

I don't regret kissing her... I think. I'm just second-guessing my choices.

Kissing her crossed a line in our... friendship that we hadn't established. Kissing her means she means more to me than I first thought. Kissing her means Stawarski has more of a reason to go after her. Kissing her meant... I don't know.

All I know is that I liked it. I liked kissing Alayna. I liked how it made me feel and I liked how my body shook with shivers of excitement. I liked running around and keeping secrets and hiding her from my family because it meant we both had something that no one else knew about.

The worst thing about this whole thing is that I don't even know how Alayna feels about it. I mean... she had to like it because she initiated it, but am I even a good kisser? Back in London, I only ever kissed a few girls that I didn't really know, so I wasn't really able to judge how good I was at kissing. What if she didn't like it? What if it was the worst kiss she's ever had?

I've sat in the same break room as Alayna and her friends for some time now, so I know that she's... got experience, so what if I'm the worst of the bunch? What if it didn't reach her expectations?

I rub my hands over my face, forcing myself to drop the topic. I can't over-think about one simple, quick, delicious kiss. It's too unlike me.

I also know that whatever that kiss meant to Alayna, it can't go any further than a kiss. Getting involved with Alayna only means I'm putting her in harm's way. It only means that she's more liable.

I cannot be more than friends with Alayna. To protect her, I cannot.