My Beautiful Boy ✔️

43

I'm standing outside of room 13. Fear and nerves run through me at the sound of music blasting behind the door that separated me and Dawson from each other. I gasp as a few people rush past me, barging into the door. Now, I could see inside the party. I grimaced at the sight of people drinking and doing drugs and dancing and laughing.

Leilana had decided to stay in the car, but I warned that I had no idea how long my conversation with Dawson would take. She was fine with waiting for hours, apparently.

I gathered all my courage and walked into the flat, realising that I'm severely overdressed. There were men in tech fleeces and women wearing short dresses that barely covered their asses. Although I had my bare legs on show, it still felt more modest than everyone else. I didn't immediately find Dawson, but when I did, I was surprisingly shocked.

He was laughing louder than I've ever seen him laugh before. His eyes were crinkled and his shoulders were shaking and a bottle of alcohol was rising to his lips.

He's been going to the gym more, I could tell. He's more broad and the outline of his muscles were visible from his normal black shirt. He hasn't noticed me yet. I think I could stand here and watch him for the rest of my life and I'd never get bored.

Dawson does a handshake with the boy standing next to him before he jumps off of the counter and weaves his way through the bodies of people surrounding him. He accidentally knocks a cup of alcohol out of someone's hand and he's instantly apologising, leaning down and picking up the cup. He hands it back to her and she scowls at him, causing him to say something to her. The girl is a bit taken aback as Dawson turns around and walks away from her, walking into the living room. I follow after him. Another girl smacks his ass and Dawson only laughs it off. I glare at the girl even though her back is faced towards me. Then, she turns around and her eyes land instantly on me. My mouth parts slightly.

Before I know it, she's scowling and making a beeline towards me. "Do you have a problem?" She asks quickly, and I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, do you have a problem?" She asks again, crossing her arms over her chest. "Coz if you do, why don't you say to my face?" She glares at me. This girl is acting really childish right now, and I don't even think she's over the age of fifteen.

"Are you, like, even old enough to be at this... party?" I asked her, purely out of curiosity, but she squared up to me instead. I realise that this girl has caught the attention of quite a few people and there are bodies around us, waiting for something to happen.

"Of course I am, this is my brother's party." She tilts her head, and I lick my bottom lip. Thank God I don't live in London. I fear I might have ended up like this little girl opposite me. "Where'd you come from?" She asked me, and I poke my tongue onto the side of my cheek.

"Excuse me?" I stare across at her, and she shrugs her shoulders. Before I could step forward, I feel arms around my waist and I'm being pulled away and into a room. I turn around just as Dawson closes the door to the bedroom behind him, staring at me. His eyes are wide and his skin is pale, like he's seen a ghost.

I can't help but admire him. How beautiful he is, especially with the light of the room shining down on him like an angel. He looked like an angel.

"What are you..." His mouth parts in shock, his head shaking slightly. "What are you doing here? How'd you know where I was?" He asks, and I suddenly remember what Leilana told me in the car. Dawson didn't want you knowing about the number, she had told me. My jaw clenches in annoyance.

"I can't believe you made my best friend keep a secret from me." I tell him, and he sighs, lifting his eyes to the ceiling. He looks so good, I think. He's let his hair grow out and he's more muscular and it makes him look taller and his outfit is so scrumptious on him. But, I'm angry. Angry at him for leaving without saying goodbye. For leaving, full stop.

"Alayna..." He sighs, running his hands through his hair. "You shouldn't be here." He tells me, but I scoff and cross my arms over my chest. "Seriously, Alayna." He huffs, copying my stance. We're on opposite sides of the small bedroom, glaring at each other.

"What- so, this is it?" I shrug my shoulders. "You're gonna give up that easily-" I begin to say, but he interrupts me.

"Don't you get it?" He questions. "You were kidnapped, Alayna! Because of me! Do you seriously think I'd still be with you, after that? After what you went through, Alayna, you shouldn't wanna be with me." He throws his arms into the air. "You shouldn't have come here, Alayna. Go home." He adds, turning around and reaching out for the door handle. I step forward.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I ask, quieter this time.

His head dips. "Keep saying what?" His hands run over his face.

"That it's your fault." I shrug my shoulders. "It was your dad who put me in that situation, Dawson. Why do we have to suffer the consequences of his actions?" I ask, fighting the urge to reach out and touch him. Before I could, he turned to face me, his eyes flickering all over my face. We haven't seen each other in two months, and this is the cold reception I receive.

"I have been reaping the consequences of his actions my whole life, Alayna, nothing is going to change now. What do you want me to do?" He sighs, his gaze flickering to my body and dragging down my body before he clears his throat and looks back up to my face.

"I want you to realise you are human. There is only so much you can take, okay? I want you to realise that you're allowed to be happy and you're allowed to live a life." I slowly take his hand into mine, and the feel of his skin on my skin sends a shiver down my spine. My body vibrates and Dawson gazes down at me, his mouth slightly parted. "Please don't push me away, again. I lo-"

My heart cracks into two when he pulls his hand away, shaking his head. Tears spring into my eyes and I'm trying to look at him, but he's pulling away and I don't think he's listening anymore and I'm trying to hold onto him but he's still pulling away.

"Don't finish that sentence. I'm trying to protect you. You should leave, Alayna." He repeats, but I shake my head. I bite my bottom lip, trying to deliberate my next words. Dawson clenches his jaw, staring at the wall behind him.

"I'm not gonna leave." I tell him, choking on my own words. My tears sting the back of my eyes and I blink them away. My head hurts and my stomach hurts, but I'm going to pull through and I'm not going to leave until Dawson knows how I truly feel about him.

"Alayna, please." He sounds defeated. Luckily for him, I'm operating on two months of pent up energy, so I could argue with him for days.

"If I'm never going to see you again, I deserve to tell you the truth." I nod my head multiple times. "And... you might think that you don't deserve me, but you do. We deserve each other, Dawson." I tell him, and his eyes soften. I think I'm getting through to him. I hope to God that this works.