My Beautiful Boy ✔️

42

I've not left my house in two months. I've spent all my mornings and nights in bed, trying not to think about Dawson. I felt so numb that it took so much effort for me to even get up and go to the bathroom.

My friends visited me, but I didn't talk much and they realised that I needed time. Leilana told me during my time at the hospital that Dawson had left town and gone back to London. It broke my heart.

I had tried to call him, but his number was out of service. This broke my heart even more. Stawarski was arrested. There was no need for Dawson to move away if the danger was already gone. He didn't have to hurt us both by leaving. I need him.

There's a knock on my bedroom door and I quickly wipe away my tears. "Come in." I rasp, because my voice is sore and underused. The door slowly opens and Leilana creeps in, closing the door behind her. I try to smile.

"Hey, girl." She grins, sitting on my bed next to my feet. I sit up carefully. "How are you feeling?" She asks me and my hand raises to my knotty, unruly hair. I grimace.

"I need to brush my hair." I groan, and Leilana grabs my hairbrush from my bedside table and hands it to me. "I don't have any energy." A yawn escapes my throat and I lay back down, closing my eyes. Leilana's hand is on my knee and I can feel her deep gaze on my face.

"You know, everyone misses you at college." She says quietly, and my eyes open to see her shrugging her shoulders. "When do you plan on... getting out of bed and continuing your life?" She asked, and I know she's trying to crack a joke. My lip twitches up slightly. "Ah- was that a smile?"

"Leilana..." I grimace again. "I really need to talk to him. I can't... I can't move on without a proper goodbye or an explanation. I have to try, right?" My eyebrows furrow and Leilana bites her lip in thought.

"There's something I should tell you about the day Dawson left." She looks at me warily and I sit up in bed, raising my eyebrows at her. Then, she sighs and reaches into her purse, pulling out a crumbled strip of paper. When she hands it to me, I see a number scribbled onto it.

"Is this...?"

"That's an emergency number that Dawson gave me the day he left. He told me to call it if anything happens to you."

"And... you kept this from me?" I asked, knowing that Leilana held onto this information for two months, knowing that I was heartbroken and depressed over Dawson leaving. "Why would you do that?"

"You have to understand that you were kidnapped because of him." Leilana stares at me, but I shake my head. "I thought I was doing the right thing by not letting you run back to him."

"I didn't get kidnapped because of him, Ana!" My voice breaks. "It's his dad. He had debts and Dawson was being threatened and beat up and it all fell on him." I say, and Leilana gulps. "I need him in my life, Ana. I..." My eyes squeeze shut and. I breathe heavily as I mutter the next words to leave my mouth. "I love him." And it's true. I love Dawson. I couldn't love him more if I tried. I also can't stay away from him. That's why these past two months have been difficult to navigate.

"You still think of him?" Leilana asks quietly.

"Everyday."

Dawson is the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be his. He is, without a doubt, my other half. And I won't stop until he knows. Until he realises that he can be loved because I love him.

His smile, his eyes, his laugh, his warmth, his existence. I love everything about him. If it takes a whole army for him to realise that, then that's what I'll do. I'll go to war for him.

"I'm calling the number." I state, grabbing my phone from under my pillow and dialling the number on the keypad.

It rings four times before I hear a voice. A woman's voice. "...Hello?" The voice says, and my heart drops into my stomach.

"Hello? Is..." I gulp. "Is Dawson there?"

"Oh, you're a friend of Dawson's. I'm so sorry, I found this phone under his mattress whilst I was doing his laundry and curiosity killed the cat, I guess." She chuckles, and I frown in confusion. Laundry? Who would be doing Dawson's- oh. His mother. I breathe a sigh of relief. "I'm so sorry, darling. Dawson is at a friend's house right now, but I can tell him to call you back-"

"Actually, can you- sorry for interrupting- can you just tell me the address of his friend's house?" I asked, and Leilana furrowed her eyebrows. I hold up my index finger at her.

"Yeah, sure. I'm pretty sure he lives in a flat- room 13, I think- on 29 Graham Road, possibly. Don't quote me on that." She laughs, and I thank her before hanging up. Leilana raises her eyebrow at me.

"Well?" She asks.

"We're going to London." I tell her, and her eyebrows raise in shock. I pull my duvet back and jump out of bed, stretching my muscles. I flick through my wardrobe, looking for a good outfit. "I need to shower before we go." I quickly say, pulling out a black crop top and denim booty shorts. I paired it with an open black and white, large, overshirt.

"Wait- what do you mean we're going to London?" She asks, but before I can answer, my bedroom door is opened by my mum. She walks in, staring at the both of us.

"London? Why are you going to London?" She asks in Arabic, and I glance at Leilana before answering her.

""I'm going to visit Dawson." I tell her, and she raises her eyebrow. "Please don't stop me, mama. I need to see him to talk to him. It's only an hour away-"

"That's fine." She interrupts, and my mouth opens in shock. "I'll speak to your father, but be home before midnight." She tells me, and I press my lips together to stop myself from grinning.

"Okay. Thanks, mama. I love you." I blow her a kiss and she rolls her eyes before leaving the room. I grin at Leilana as she tilts her head at me. "London, here we come." I smile, licking my top teeth.