My Beautiful Boy ✔️

29

I knock on Leilana's door in excitement, my body jittery with anxiety. I hear a few shouts from the other side of the door before the door is opened. Leilana is opposite me, looking flustered. She stares at me, her head tilting to the side.

"What are you doing here?" Looking behind her and closing the door, Leilana joins me in the hall, pulling me away from her flat with my arm. "You can't just drop over, Alayna!" She scolds, and I send her an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise it was this bad." I grit my teeth. "I wish you would let me help you, Leilana. I hate that you have to go through all of this yourself." I tell her, and she shakes her head. She sighs, her hands on her hips.

"This isn't something I want you involved in." She tells me. "My mum's a druggie and she's involved with the wrong people and if I tell you about it, or if they see you here, it puts you in a position that I don't wanna put you in, okay?" She tells me, and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Who's they?" I ask, and I realise that no matter who I'm with, it's like I can't escape these people who owe something to drug dealers. "Drug dealers?" I asked her, and Leilana hesitantly nods her head.

"Mum's buying shit from them even though we can barely afford it." She sighs, shaking her head. I frown. I knew there was a reason why I wasn't fond of Leilana's mum, and that's it. She's making Leilana's life a living hell, and I have no idea when it's going to stop.

"You know, if you need money-"

"Alayna, do not even finish that sentence." She glares at me, and I shrug my shoulders apologetically. "I'm not gonna let you help me out financially. I got this, okay?" She says, but a part of me doesn't believe her. "Come on." She sighs, leading me to the bottom of the stairs that lead to the next floor. "Tell me why you came over. You looked excited to tell me something."

We sat on the bottom step, pressed against each other because of the lack of space. "Well... I know I've kept Dawson a secret from you." I tell her, and she raises an eyebrow. "But the whole time, I've wanted someone to talk to about it all. It's been overwhelming, you know?" I tell her, and she slowly nods her head.

"I get it. Having to keep something a secret because you don't want anyone to know." She sighs. "It sucks."

"Yeah, well, I didn't mind. We actually, err... we actually slept together last night." I admit, closing my eyes. Leilana's head snaps towards me. I clear my throat and her mouth is wide open in shock.

"You fucked?" She gasps, and I press my lips together as I nod. "So, what, is he a freak in the sheets?" She smirks, and I grimace.

"Does he look like a freak in the sheets?"

"He looks like he chokes you." She admits, and I splutter, shaking my head.

"Oh my God, no!" I gasp. "He's... soft and sweet and cares about me." I say, blushing at the memories of last night.

"A shy boy who is actually shy. Huh." Leilana nods her head, biting the tip of her finger. "No such thing." She adds, and I roll my eyes. Leilana chuckles, wrapping her arm around me and I rest my head on her shoulder. "I'm happy for you, Alayna." She mumbles, her eyes on the wall in front of us.

"Thank you." I grin, biting my bottom lip.

***

My parents were eating lunch by the time I got home. They told me to eat, so I grabbed a plate and filled it with leftover white pasta from last night. I sit opposite my parents and she smiles at me, chewing her food.

"Where were you?" She asked in Arabic once her mouth was empty. Dad glances at her before focussing back on the newsletter he was reading on his phone as he ate.

"I was just visiting Leilana." I told her. Recently, I've been telling them that I've been undoubtedly spending a lot of time with Leilana, but it's the only lie they'll believe.

"Were you not with her the other night?" Mum frowns, and I clear my throat. I was with Dawson the other night. Having sex. I nod my head.

"Yes, but she's going through stuff, so I want to be there for her." I shrug my shoulders, eating a mouthful of pasta so I don't have to speak. Mum scrunches her eyebrows, a small frown on her face, probably in concern for Leilana.

"Is everything okay? You know, she could come and stay here, for a while, if things are tough at home. We won't mind." She says, and I shake my head.

"I'm sure she's fine." I grumble. Of course, I don't think she's fine, but if she won't accept anyone's help, there's very little I can do. "It's just shit with her mum, that's all." I tell her, and mum glares at me for my language. "Sorry." I mumble an apology.

"Well, at least tell her that she's always welcome here." She smiles. There's a silence before she speaks again, trying to change the subject. "How are things going with Dawson?" She asks, cautiously.

"As well as you think it's going." I lie, trying to pretend that we aren't better than ever. We spent hours on the phone last night, talking to each other about every topic under the Sun. "I don't understand why we can't be friends?" I groan, and dad's attention is finally caught.

He clears his throat. "Alayna, ahadathna ean hadha." Dad sighs, shaking his head. "He's a dangerous guy, and I don't want you to be involved with him."

"'Awh, hadha junun." I whisper, shuffling my food around my plate, suddenly losing my appetite. "You're both so dramatic." I tell them, even though they're right. Being with Dawson is dangerous. He is dangerous. Everything about him I should be scared of. It should make me run away as fast as I can. But, no. The parts of him that he hides away from people, they're the parts that make him him. The scars on his wrists that I tried my hardest to avoid the other night, purely because I had no idea what I was supposed to do, but also because I don't know how he feels about them. If it's in his past, or if he constantly thinks about it.

It scares me.