Ghouls One-shots/Preferences III

Ghouls - Triggered

Just a warning, this is a chapter on a reader who has PTSD and dealt with a drinking addiction. Panic attack, mention of suicide, form of SH, vomiting, etc. 

~

You swallowed, trying to get the dry feeling in your throat to go away. The glass of alcohol was set in front of you, the ghoul who set it down was already off and laughing with another. You looked back to it, feeling your heartbeat quicken. A shout of laughter made you flinch, the smell of intoxication surrounding you. You looked up, seeing Cirrus and Sunshine laughing about something. You quickly slipped off the chair and quickly walked out of the room, heading towards your own. 

"Y/n, you okay?" You heard Swiss call out, starting to follow. 

"Y-Yea... I don't feel well. Good night." You quickly said, shutting the door to your room before he could say anymore. You bolted to the bathroom, raising the lid on the toilet before supper spilled up. You sunk to your knees, shaking and gasping from gag after gag. You closed your eyes, feeling hot tears running down your face. Finally, your stomach calmed, and you slumped back against the bathtub, your head against your knees as you cried. Your heart was nowhere near calm, nor was your breathing. You clutched your ankles, the feeling of entrapment overwhelming you. Your hands grew tingly as you silently gasped for air. Your brain was fuzzy as every scenario going through your mind. 

Why were you doing this? It was just some whiskey! You mentally cursed at yourself as your body crumpled on the floor, finally allowing the panic attack to come in full swing. 

It took you several minutes till you sat up, wiping away your tears. You slowly stood up, turning the shower on. Once it heated and you were stripped, you stepped in, cranking the heat up. You hissed, feeling the boiling hot water against your back. You groan quietly, waiting for the pain to pass. After a few seconds, the hot water numbed your back, making you sigh. Oh, how it felt so good but so horrible all at once. You bit your lip as more tears threatened to spill over. You finally turned the heat back down and washed, your back too sensitive to touch... just how you liked. You stepped out of the shower and dried off, walking back into your room and pulling on underwear and some sweatpants. Your back was too painful to even put cream on, so you crawled in bed and laid on your stomach, feeling fresh tears forming. You buried your face in your pillow, letting out a scream as you started to sob. The numbing in your back was gone, now replaced with searing hot pain. You cried until you felt your pillow start to get wet. You moved, already dampening another spot. Maybe it would just be easier to end it. No more pain, no more... anything. No more memorizes... you hoped. You allowed the satisfaction of the thoughts of ending it all to sweet peace till you were pulled from your thoughts. 

"Y/n?" A knock was at your door before Rain peeked in, the light from the hallway almost reaching you. 

"Go to sleep. You shouldn't be up this late." You said quickly, not bothering to sit up. 

"I want to sleep with you." He whispered, the smell of alcohol drifting into the room. 

"N-Not tonight sweetheart." You spoke, feeling your stomach turn again. Rain sighed before leaving and shutting the door. You finally closed your eyes, trying to find the familiar comfort in the pain. 

~

The next morning you woke up, feeling a hot hand crease over your back. Your eyed fluttered open, whimpering softly. 

"What did you do?" Sodo whispered, the smell of whiskey completely gone. You hissed as he moved his hand up your shoulder. He retracked quickly, staring at you with wide eyes. 

"Why are you in here?" You mumbled, turning your head to look at him, unwilling to move off your stomach. 

"It's almost noon. I was told to check on you." He mumbled, his eyes seeing your red back. 

"Please leave." Was all you said before you pulled the cover up over your back, whimpering at the pain. Sodo was silent for several moments before he left the room. You were left alone with your thoughts for about a minute before several pairs of footsteps came into the room. 

"I need to see." You heard Aether say. 

"I'm fine." You snapped, attempting to roll over but couldn't due to the pain. 

"I have reinforcements. Don't test me, Y/n." He spoke a little more sternly. You felt the blanket move down your back, making you clutch your pillow in pain. Aether frowned as Swiss grabbed your under your arms, lifting your body up enough for him to settle under you, your head resting on his shoulder. You whimpered again, the movement sending more pain down your spine. 

"Let me have that cream." Aether said. You watched Rain hand him the tube. You tensed, gripping onto Swiss, expecting it to burn. You relaxed a little, feeling the cream already soothe your back. 

"I'll go generously so it doesn't hurt." Aether said reassuringly. You felt the bed sink beside you, then Sodo's hand went through your hair. Aether started rubbing the cream on, making you close your eyes as you relaxed. Within a couple minutes, Swiss had you laying on your side, his arm resting lightly against your back. No one seemed fazed at your topless state, making you happy as you closed your eyes. 

"Mind telling us how that happened?" Aether asked calmly. You looked at him from where he sat beside you and Swiss. 

"I accidentally burnt myself in the shower." You mumbled. 

"That's no accident. I want the truth. All of it." Your lip quivered gently. 

"It was the alcohol. I can't have alcohol... and the smell... everything sent me spiraling. I came in here, vomited and panicked. Then I got in the shower and the heat... relieved the pain." You whispered near the end. 

"Why can't you have alcohol?" Swiss asked calmly. 

"It... I got drunk... I didn't want it to happen..." You swallowed the lump in your throat, turning your face into Swiss, wanting to shrink away to nothing. 

"I think I get the just of it. Why didn't you tell us?" Aether sighed with a frown. 

"I didn't want you to think I was a sissy or something." You said, holding back from crying again. The room was quiet until you felt Sodo press his lips to your hair, running a hand up and down your arm. The sound of ghouls shuffling here and there and soon the bed was being filled. Swiss and Sodo against you, Aether and Rain beside Swiss and Mountain and Phantom beside Sodo. You clutched onto Swiss, clenching your jaw as you took a deep and steady breath. You practically melted as you felt Sodo blow gently onto your back, keeping the pain away. You took deep breathes, silently crying as you felt Aether's magick flow through you, taking you away from your mind and allowing you to relax and fall into a hypnotized sleep.