I Am My Own Cousin.

Chapter 37: Cliffhanger

He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they willspeak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."
Mark 16:15- 18

A few hours after I had mailed off my application to Bible college I found myself stiffly attempting to dance to electronic music at a rave. I had an enormous collection of glow stick necklaces snapped around my throat. It reminded me of remote tribal women in the National Geographic magazine; with permanently elongated necks after being weighed down by metal neck bands their whole lives .I imagined I was from a group deep in the Amazon who worshiped the gods of neon with dance rituals and black light face paint. My youth group friends were all shimmying around me in a circle, their teeth glowing a disgusting yellow under the black lights. We were in the farm building at the fairgrounds located directly behind our church. This wasn't an ordinary rave; it was an elaborate soul winning mission. 

The rave had been carefully planned and orchestrated by Lake Bible Institute students on their mission trip from Tampa to the Appalachian Mountains. The metropolitan missionaries had brainstormed a unique way expose unsuspecting youths to the gospel . They settled on a holding a rave as a decoy to attract local teens and share the gospel message with them. It was to be the climax event after an intense week of soul winning classes, community outreaches, and revival meetings.

The minister in charge of the mission trip, Saul, had extensive experience with raving during his pre-Christian days. He was in his mid twenties,a snazzy dresser, tall, and handsome; with an infectious personality. His wife Carmen was a soft spoken and thoughtful lady from South Africa. The first night that they arrived in Castlewood Saul entertained my youth group with his testimony. He had been a party animal, experimented with every drug under the sun, and even admitted to having unspeakable sex acts with women AND men. After Saul had been washed clean by the blood of the lamb, he enrolled in the Lake Bible Institute.

He gushed about how the Institute had drastically changed his life; taught him discipline, filled him with the Holy Spirit (as evident by receiving the gift of speaking in tongues), and it was there that he met his wife Carmen. Saul had graduated from the three year program with a bachelor's degree in theology, and was beginning his own ministry. As one of the most promising graduates he had been entrusted by Dr. Ronald Harold Black to hold a revival in our poverty stricken hills. Our church was a pet project of the Doctor after he had flown Pastor Collinwood down and his congregation had spontaneously showered thousands of dollars upon him. Literally tossing piles of money on top of him while he was immobilized by the Holy Spirit on the church floor, otherwise known as being slain in the spirit.

The missionaries meticulously organized the event; rented the building, brought in Christian disk jockeys, sett up laser lights and smoke machines, and purchased truckloads of glow sticks. As the liaison for my youth group I was entrusted with the awkward task interrupting grinding couples and explaining that it wasn't "that" kind of party. Sex, drugs, and alcohol were also strictly prohibited and I had to monitor for it. We had used unorthodox measures to advertise the rave among local youth all week. Saul filled up the trunk of his car with ice and cans of Coca Cola. He parked in the high school parking lot and waited until the bell rang to released the students. As they filled up the parking lot in their post school stupor he cranked his radio up so loud that his windows rattled and blared techno music . Standing on the back bumper of his car and shouted out, "FREE DRINKS!" Startled by the stranger making a commotion a few kids meandered over, and like sheep the rest followed. With smooth charm Saul and his friends gave my school mates fliers. "We are hosting a rave this weekend, you should check it out." Most of the students looked happy with the invite from cool college aged guy. But one of the more discerning seniors saw that the group of Jesus freaks were hovering close by. "I bet this is something that cult church in Castlewood is putting on as a way to trick people into being brain washed." I was incensed that she would say something so horrible about my church and made an angry mental note to add her to my nightly prayer list. 

Despite all our efforts the rave had a dismal turn out. Either word had gotten out that this wasn't going to be a real rave or the local youth just wasn't interested. A couple teens arrived early on but quickly departed after I went all enforcer on them. By the time the party ended no one other than youth group members remained. A clearly deflated Saul closed out the party with a hip little message about how the only real lasting high in life is the high of following Jesus. When he gave his alter call no one responded. But Saul wasn't going to let it go easily, he preached longer, harder, and louder until one of the youth group boys stepped forward. "My heart has felt cold towards the Lord lately. I want to rededicate myself." Saul lit up a little bit, "Praise God. The harvest tonight may not be the hundreds we were praying for. But the ways of the Lord are mysterious. It has been worth it to throw this rave just to snatch one soul from the jaws of hell. His soul is the cherry on top of all the souls you all have helped us reap this week. Maybe this boy will go on to be a Billy Graham and lead a billion people to Jesus. "

The Lake Bible Institute missionaries had held soul winning classes on the first day they arrived to enlist my entire youth group in their mission. I was really excited to learn how these trained professionals converted people to Christianity. My method of soul winning was really labor intensive and sometimes felt like borderline stalking. I knew there had to be an easier way but I was too shy to openly preach in the streets on a soap box. The Lake Church had won over a million documented souls for Christ the previous year. Dr. Black's teen daughter had tragically died from cystic fibrosis and the Doctor swore vengeance. He made a vow that his church would win a million souls every year to make Satan regret causing his daughter to suffer. To harvest so many souls in only 365 days they had to think outside of the box.

The Lake Church developed an ingenious method for soul winning that involved reading from a script. Having a set format to follow ensured that everyone who went out to evangelize was consistent and efficient . The scripted was honed down and streamlined to bring a sinner to Christ in less than five minutes. When I heard we would be reading from a script I was really skeptical. Everyone is different and going through different trials and tribulations; how could standing in front of someone and reading a piece of paper leave them with a personal lasting relationship with Jesus Christ? Saul understood the criticisms because his church had received a lot of push back from the Christian community for their method. He explained that we were commanded to share the gospel with non-believers, but the bible didn't specify how. "The moment you began sharing the gospel with someone the Holy Spirit will begin working on their heart by convicting them. Even if they didn't end up praying with you; you will have done what Jesus had commanded his followers to do and their spiritual blood will no longer be on our hands."