I Am My Own Cousin.

Chapter 19:The Patronizing Saint of Paulness

Dad had disappeared faster than a triple layer cheesecake on the set of The Oprah Winfrey Show. "Wade is just going to talk to them for a while. Everything will be fine." Aunt Jane tried to reassure us. Defeated, I walked back into the bedroom and sat down in front of the television. The credits for Gattaca were now rolling. I surfed through the channels not actually seeing anything that was on the screen and waited.    

I eventually landed on the shopping network; a sales lady was hawking a gargantuan faux emerald necklace when I heard CLICK SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH.  Dad was standing behind us and had taken my picture with a disposable camera. He pointed to Jessica  who was sitting behind me.  "Get in the car Jessica.  Don't start the same shit as Judi or I will PUT you in the car myself."  I thought it was unlikely he could sling her over his shoulder like Judi, but I knew that wouldn't stop him from trying.  Determined to go out with a little more dignity than that, Jessica stomped out the front door.  The little kids were in the living room with puffy eyes and faces.  I went back to watching the shopping network, wishing the earth would open up and swallow me.   

The sales lady had moved onto to an impressive knife set by the time he brought Jessica back. "Jacqui go to the car."  I obeyed like an android, not letting any emotions register on my face.  I reached the car before Dad and looked around for some kind of weapon to protect myself.  The best thing I could find was a large wrench sticking out of his tool box.  I stuffed it in the band of my jeans and pulled my blue Guess branded sweatshirt over it... if he laid one finger on me I would bash his skull in.

Dad didn't talk as he drove with me deep into the Jefferson National Forrest.  It was pitch black without any of the normal light pollution.  Rage and fear had come to a rolling boil inside my chest. Dad pulled the car into a little gravel clearing beside the road.  He turned off the engine and the headlights.  I could hear crickets feverishly rubbing their legs together. Dad turned sidewise in his seat and gave me his most intimidating look. "Jacqueline, your sisters told me that you have moved to St. Paul.  You shouldn't have kept that a secret.  When you keep things from me, you are committing the sin of omission.  Do you know what the sin of omission is?"  I didn't answer.  "It is lying, Jacqueline Cadence Kennedy."  He spat the words out like they tasted like excrement.  "The bible says 'Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth.'  I don't know why you feel like it's your job to protect your Mother.  She's a big girl and doesn't need you to protect her.  Is your mother sleeping with Uncle Carroll?"

  Crickets.

 "Answer me young lady!" 

Crickets. 

"STOP BEING AN OBSTINATE LITTLE SHIT AND SHOW SOME RESPECT.  IS MARGARET HAVING SEX WITH YOUR UNCLE CARROLL?"  I stuck my hand under my huge sweatshirt and gripped the cold handle of the wrench.  "I'm not going to talk to you about this Dad.  The court said you cannot question us anymore."  "The court doesn't have the authority to tell me that I cannot ask my own children questions.  It's my God given right as a father to ask you anything I want to.  What your Mother is doing is sinful; if you help her keep it a secret then you're as much to blame as she is.  Do you want to be responsible for someone else's sins?"  

Dad was interrupted by a flood of red and blue lights. Tap tap tap. An officer's uniform appeared at the driver's side window with a flashlight.  His face was chopped off by the top of the car.  His belly hung low over his belt.  Dad swore then slowly cranked the window down, clearing his throat.  I nervously tried to smooth the wrench lump out of my sweatshirt. "Hello officer, what seems to be the problem?"   "You tell me sir.  Why are you parked here?"  "Oh no problems here, I needed to have a private conversation with my daughter and this seemed like a good spot."