I Am My Own Cousin.

Chapter 22: Clean Panties

 "Wear clean underwear every day."  Mom's voice rang clearly in Jessica's mind.  "What if a paramedic has to cut your clothes off and you have skid marks? You don't want to embarrass your Mommy by wearing dirty panties."  Fear is the most effective method in teaching children good hygiene. But now Mom was the one in need of medical attention and had been wearing the same baggy sweatpants and t-shirt for a couple days, too weak to change her clothes.  Including her underwear.  Jessica's hygiene dilemma and how to respond was compounded by the express rule that we were never allowed to use the phone without permission.  She yelled and shook Mom by the shoulders.  "WAKE UP MOM! WAKE UP! DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL 911?"

When I got off the school bus that afternoon, instead of Mom waiting for us on the apartment stoop it was Jessica.  She was noticeably shaken up.  "Where is Mom?" Jessica hysterically described not being able to wake Mom up for several minutes.  "It wasn't like she was sleeping; it was like she was dead."  She had eventually been able to rouse her enough for Mom to croak out "Call Carroll."  Before Uncle Carroll whisked her off to the hospital he told Jessica that Granny would come to the apartment to watch us. However, no one had shown up so far nor called to tell her what was going on.

We didn't know what we should do; we had an irrational fear that if anyone in the apartment complex knew we were without adult supervision they would call social services and we would be taken and put into Dad's custody. A custody hearing had been scheduled for that afternoon and now that Mom missed it we didn't know what the repercussion would be.  The little kids freaked out.  We tried our best to calm them down then sent them to play in their rooms. We forbid them from going outside and playing with their friends because they would blab that we were alone.

After a few hours with no word from anyone we grew hungry and decided to make dinner.  There was a small problem: it was the end of the month and we were out of food stamps.  Even if we had them Mom had been too weak lately to go grocery shopping. We triplets argued over what we should do.  "We need to ask someone for food.  We can't let the little kids go without supper."  "We can't ask people for food!  If we do that then they'll know something is wrong."   "Not if we act normal."   "Well I'm not going to go door to door begging for food. One of you can do it."   "I would rather go hungry."   Eventually it was decided that Jennifer would go begging since she was technically the oldest, so it was more of her responsibility.  I was skeptical that we would actually find anyone that would give enough food to feed all of us. It felt like we were waifs in a Charles Dickens novel.

Jessica and I were astonished when Jennifer came back carrying a huge steaming pot of vegetable soup and box of saltine crackers. The Adams family had made it the day before and had a ton of leftovers, so Mrs. Adams gladly warmed it back up for us.  Jennifer had told her that Mom had food poisoning and couldn't leave the toilet long enough to cook.  We filled up a bowl for all us kids and sat down to watch an episode of COPS together, always hoping we would see someone we knew.  We speculated on whether or not Mom was being force fed.  Then we cleaned out the pot and Jenny took it back across the parking lot to the Adam's, telling them how grateful Mom was.

 Late that night we heard a knock on the door.  We were terrified that it was the social services coming to take us away; but it was our Granny. Uncle Steven had brought her down the mountain.  We all sprinted up to her in a loud herd of children. "GRANNY!"  The little kids reached her first and clung onto her various limbs.  "What's going on? Where is Mom?"  Granny ushered us into the apartment and told us that Mom had been admitted to the hospital overnight.  Doctors were running tests and had her hooked up to a heart monitor.  Her heartbeat was irregular, speeding up then slowing down, and they were trying to figure out what was causing it. Mom didn't want us kids to see her in such bad shape, so she had asked Granny not to bring us to visit. Uncle Carroll was at her bedside and would stay with her.