𝕞𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤 𝕚𝕟 𝕓𝕖𝕥𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕟 || 𝚅𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 𝙷𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛

27. "i wish you believed yourself.'

Today is day 6. To be honest, some part of me thought this would be over by now. I thought that one way or the other, everything would go back to normal, whatever that meant for us. But this seems to be the new normal. Everyone seems to adore them, which is very different from what I could say about me and my situation. I tried my very best to not let it bug me because I don't think anyone should be treated the way I was for liking a boy, but I would expect the same treatment from the self-proclaimed judges. Maybe the reason they prefer Ava is that everyone who knew Vinnie and his friends already knew her and loved her and probably because she didn't appear as a slut the way I did, according to the Internet's standards. I occasionally look at that picture. When I do, I think about how happy I was in that moment, how I was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing and I was exactly where I wanted to be with who I wanted to be with. Then I look at it from Gigi, my parents and the Internet's perspective and I look like a slut. If maybe the first way they saw me was holding hands with Vinnie, my parents would have accepted it and would have liked to know him. Maybe the Internet would have been kinder and wouldn't have called me names. However, I doubt Gigi's opinion would have been any different, but maybe if I had talked to her first, she would have had time to process it.
But I guess it's too late to change things and it's too late to fix them now.

"Ok, I think this is going to work." Gigi concludes, finally convinced. She keeps checking every angle of the red mini-dress in the mirror. I tried on the corresponding white dress and I concluded a long time ago that I look great and Gigi looks even better. The all-white dress has an open skirt with white lace, which hangs right above my thighs, and is supposed to be an angel costume. Gigi is the devil obviously. They do their job perfectly, so I think this is the one. Partly because we've been trying on different Halloween costumes for 2 hours, partly because this is the best I've ever looked in a Halloween costume. With the right make-up on, it'll look complete. The second best I've looked is when Aaron and I matched last year. We weren't yet together, but we were getting pretty close it was the first time since I had met Gigi that I didn't entirely match with her, but it was her idea and she chose the characters we matched as. We were Ben and Mal. When Gigi first suggested it, I refused. There was no way I was going to wear a long princess dress to a highschool Halloween party, even though it was a costume party. But then Gigi said she was thinking more like Ben and Mal in the Isle of the Lost and Aaron and I were in. Gigi dressed up as Ivy after I persuaded her to because I wasn't letting her dress alone.

I think it's a nice memory and sometimes I want to reminisce about it with Gigi, but we don't really talk about anything that includes Aaron, which kind of sucks because there are some memories that I love or that are super fun but that are also somehow tied to Aaron. It's like most of my life between December and June just has to be cancelled.

"So can we be done?" I say with a wide smile, looking at Gigi in the mirror.

"Hmm... I don't know..." Gigi frowns. Is she for real?

"Chill, I'm just playing with you." Gigi laughs and finally starts taking off the dress.

"Good for you because I was about to leave your ass right here and head back home." I reply jokingly, but meaning it. I would just have to call Larray or Mia or Amira...

"Gigi, when are we getting a car?" We agreed on getting each our car, given how, although we are the people we both see the most, we aren't always together and sometimes we go to different places. But we have to go car shopping together because I know little to nothing about cars and Gigi knows a bit more. Vinnie knows a big lot about cars, more than I will ever understand. I remember how we occasionally talked about him helping me pick a car. I used to tell him he should just tell me what car under a certain budget to buy and I'll buy it, but, laughing, he insisted I should know even just a little bit about the car I'm going to be driving around the city. I really couldn't care less about the details of a car though, as long as it drives.