𝕞𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤 𝕚𝕟 𝕓𝕖𝕥𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕟 || 𝚅𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 𝙷𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛

28. "why are you obsessed with me?"

The night went by so fast. The atmosphere was so serene and I didn't even realize when it clocked midnight. It's now 1 a.m. and we haven't yet started the movie. Apparently, it's the last thing they do. Literally. So far it's been just like a regular party, so way more people than Gigi and I expected, which is awesome. In fact, I haven't even crossed paths with Vinnie. Although I do think it was planned. Vinnie and I not crossing paths. They, as in everyone in this house, probably agreed on trying to avoid it before I arrived. I've been everywhere downstairs and he isn't anywhere. I haven't been upstairs though. We usually hang out a lot in Mia's room upstairs, but no one has suggested going upstairs. They probably limited upstairs to Vinnie. But even if it wasn't so, I don't think I could. I feel like if I do, too many memories will flood in and I won't be able to handle it. I have memories from downstairs, but his room just brings back more. The kitchen is a big one too. But I still entered because Gigi, Mia and Amira were headed there and I wasn't going to make a scene about going into their kitchen. It's somewhat crazy to think about, how I never knew how many memories with Vinnie had a special place in my heart and now that I'm not going to make more they are all so much more important and nostalgic.

That aside, I feel good. I've seen a lot of people I haven't seen in a while and said hi. It makes me regret all the time I spent reminiscing on my bed when I could've been out with these people making memories. I promised I will show up around more to spend time with them. Although it felt like their invitations were them trying to bring me out of my misery, no one mentioned my Vinnie situation which was a bit nerve-wracking because I want someone to ask me how I feel so I can tell them I am completely ok and I feel amazing because I don't want to be pitied.

For an instant though, I realize how ok I am at this very moment. No worries, no problems. Well, there are worries and problems, but my mind feels completely off of them, completely free and content at the moment. Being surrounded by all these happy people makes me happy. Gigi, Mia, Amira and I are in the living room with our closest friends playing truth, dare or drink, so maybe it's because my mind is floating, that's why I'm so tranquil.

"Lena," Jack calls me. "Truth or dare?"

When I said close friends, I meant close friends and Jack. He is my friends' friend, so I have seen him everywhere this evening.

"Truth." I've chosen dare for the last 5 (I think) rounds and I've also drank the last 5 rounds. So maybe truth won't be so bad, even though I was avoiding it because I was scared of any question that has to do with what has been going on. That's when I realize it's Jack choosing for me this time, so it's probably not the round to experiment truth.

"Dare! I meant dare." I quickly correct myself before it's too late.

"Drink is vodka." He informs me what his drink choice is. "I dare you to look for Ava and tell her Vinnie is all hers." Jack slurs with a devil-like smile. I look into his eyes, keeping the smile I had on, trying to look for where all this hatred for me came from.

"What the hell, Jack?" Jordan speaks up amongst everyone who was already whispering. Jack shrugs his shoulders, finally taking his eyes off mine. Gigi, who is sitting next to me, sighs in frustration as she looks up at the ceiling like she might kill someone if that name is mentioned again.

Eventually, I get my eyes off Jack. I try to ignore everyone's eyes on me as I reach out to take my sixth shot tonight. I want to explain that is not that I'm bitter, but I can't just do that. Ava is all Vinnie's, but I doubt she isn't with Vinnie right now and I don't want to say that in front of Vinnie or even just in front of Ava, who'd tell Vinnie. Both of them would think I'm going crazy and that this whole thing is eating me alive, which it is but they can't know. Plus at this moment it's not.