From Mine to Ours

22: Showing More of Me.

During our time out in the national garden, I learned two new things. One, Julian is a sensitive soul. Two, Sebastian and Asher love to kindheartedly tease him about it.

Well, there's also the fact that he actually likes to sketch in his free time. I know that due to the fact that when we passed the field of tulips, he practically screeched before squatting and grabbing a sketchpad, one I didn't even notice he packed, out of his backpack.

I won't lie, it seemed rather out of character for him. Which made the moment all the more unique because in that brief window of time, I felt an invisible wall shatter a bit at the sight. It seemed like a reminder to myself that no matter how extraordinary he is, both inside and out, he's still human, just like me. He wants and needs affection just like me. He has his interests that make him lose his 'cool beauty' façade. And just like everyone else, he has a heart that beats stronger than ever for the people he loves around him... just like me.

No one really put the specific amount of time it takes to fall in love in a 'Life Handbook'. And certainly not how long one should wait after a break up before putting themselves out there again. Let alone how to act if your interests turn to three men who are already in a relationship. I wonder how often I've reminded myself of that very obvious fact these past few months?

"You look nervous, why are you nervous?" Jasmine hands me my morning cup of tea and I scoff down at it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I wince as the burning water scorches my tongues, but push through to spare myself the awkwardness.

"Does this have anything to do with the spring festival coming up?" She greets another customer, who just so happens to be a regular, so the order goes out quickly.

"Again, no clue what you're talking about, see ya later!" I wave back at her, ignoring the heated glare being thrown my way and send her back a kiss and a not-so-innocent wave.

I'm actually beyond nervous.

Why?

I've been doing some thinking over the weekend. Some actual thinking about myself and where I'm at now without any distractions, which I apparently desperately needed. My personal page is already at 900k over the time span of 48 hours and it's really got me mulling over ideas.

I'm free to post what I like for the most part as long as I run it by our managers beforehand. I feel like, as much as my followers really support me, they don't really know me. The me behind the 'good looks'.

There's more to life than physical beauty and I personally feel like our society today is really tuning into that. So, I want to do the same. I'm more than aware of the reason why I got a huge portion of my popularity and I always say I'm so grateful for it and I truly mean it every time.

But, I want to advocate more.

I want to say more and be more.

I don't want to only be known as the boy with a pretty face.

With a platform like this, I know people will eventually expect more of me, and I actually really want them to. Because I do have more to say and show.

"What if I started interviewing people?" I slam a few documents down on Sarah's desk, heaving a heavy breath since I thought running would be a good idea five minutes ago.

She arches a brow at me, not even having to say anything as I already understand the insinuation. I force back a sigh and turn back around. I close the door behind me again, knock three times and enter once she gives me permission. "Good morning, Sarah, can I please share these ideas with you?"